After accidently calling someone the other day it occurred to me that “butt dial” and “booty call” are two very different things.

And that sent me down the rabbit hole of words or phrases used in colloquial vernacular that could confuse the heck out of those learning English. How do you explain that “bad” can also mean “good” or that “dope” can mean “great” or refer to drugs or that “spilling the tea” can mean you dumped a cup of the beverage in your lap or you’ve got some gossip to share or that “fire” can mean either “exciting” or a conflagration or that “slap” can mean “excellent” or describe a physical assault or that “slay” could mean “do extremely well” or kill someone or that “break a leg” could mean “good luck” or that someone fractured a limb or that “sick” can mean either unwell or “really cool” which could mean either the temperature is chilly or something is “awesome?”

I mean it’s gotta be confusing for English learners. Heck, it’s confusing for me and English is (shamefully) the only language I speak.

In a recent group text with some of my friends from younger generation one of them superimposed, “I’m cringe but I’m free” on a photo of a cow. While everyone else in the group tapped back with exclamation marks or hearts or “ha ha,” I was totally clueless.

Thank goodness for Goggle where, after querying “what does this mean,” I learned the definition of the five word idiom: “embracing one’s own awkwardness, imperfections or perceived flaws and finding liberation in not being overly concerned with what others think.” So now I understand the phrase however, the meaning of the bovine image, which is apparently always used in conjunction with this expression, remains a mystery.

This text conversation sent me down another rabbit hole. There are some older slang terms like “the lights are on, but nobody’s home” as well as “bummer,” “cut to the chase” and “shotgun” that span generations, but so many others including “far out,” “whoops-a-daisy,” “fiddlesticks,” “square” and “make whoopee” have gone by the wayside.

This is shame really because some of these slang words and phrases are really “groovy” so I decided to go on a one-woman mission to bring some of them back by dropping them into everyday conversations like this:

“I know this may sound like the pot calling the kettle black, but she’s as mad as a hatter and sounds like a broken record. I wish she’d put a sock in it.”

“We were over the moon to get the chance to cut a rug while painting the town red. Honestly, it was the bee’s knees. It was really late by the time we hit the hay.”

“Mind your Ps and Qs and don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.”

“Well that’s a fine kettle of fish. You should have just let sleeping dogs lie.”

“She cried wolf; then everything went to hell in a handbasket, and she had to eat humble pie.”

“We burned the midnight oil chewing the fat and spilling the beans.”

“I might have been born this morning, but I’ve been uptown all afternoon so you won’t find me taking any wooden nickels.”

“He went for the whole nine yards and got close but no cigar.”

“Gotta jet, but I’ll drop a dime later. Catch you on the flip side.”

“I was pleased as punch when he went from the frying pan into the fire and had to eat crow.”

“He thought it was going to be easy as pie so he jumped on the band wagon, put all his eggs in one basket, but in the end all he got was a big slice of humble pie.”

I thought I was on the ball and my endeavor would be a piece of cake, but I think I bit off more than I can chew because the net result of slinging this slang was I had to spend a lot of time translating because nobody born after 1964 understood a word I was saying. It was exhausting. I may need to rethink my mission.

Reach Kyra Gottesman at kgottesman@chicoer.com