Dear Abby >> I think the world of “Celia,” my best friend of 25 years. She has been there for me through many major ups and downs in my life. She is beautiful inside and out, well-educated and works hard.
Celia has been in a five-year relationship with an old friend I’ll call “Vince.” I think he is a nice guy, but not for her. He has no desire to do better in life, doesn’t provide for her and lives off her money. Vince barely works, and his time is spent out and about enjoying himself while Celia works two, sometimes three, jobs.
Now Celia’s physical health is suffering, and so is her mental health. Vince has a kid who sometimes stays over, and when they run out of money, Celia asks me to help cover them. She sees nothing wrong in this and wants to have a child of her own with him.
I have had many talks with Celia, but they go nowhere. I’ve helped with money a few times and she always pays me back. But recently, after she asked me for money for food for the three of them, I learned they went to the movies instead. Now I feel used. This is just not OK. I no longer want to give her money to cover a grown man’s responsibility. I’m not sure how to tell her I can no longer help out with money.
— Strained Friendship
Dear Strained >> Celia may be well-educated, but it appears she has serious self-esteem issues, little common sense and a parasite for a boyfriend. That she would consider having a child with Vince, a man who can’t support himself or the child he already has, is coconuts! Tell your beautiful friend that while you care for her, you will no longer subsidize the three of them, and using your money to pay for movie tickets was the last straw. Then don’t relent.
Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.