Dear Abby >> My friend “Alma” has a handicapped parking permit. I never asked her why she has it. We regularly go for long walks, and she seems perfectly able-bodied. Alma did share with me once that she got the tag after an accident left her with some intermittent long-term pain. She said most days she doesn’t need the accessible parking and doesn’t use it, but that when her pain flares up, it’s helpful to be able to utilize a handicapped parking space.

However, I have been with Alma in situations where there is limited parking and she suggests using a handicapped space. I’m uncomfortable taking a space away from someone who may need it, but also uncomfortable questioning whether Alma needs it or if it’s just for convenience. What is the proper etiquette here?

— Empathetic in Texas

Dear Empathetic >> The proper etiquette would be to tell your friend Alma (with a smile) that unless she’s having pain that day, you would prefer to park a little farther away in a regular parking spot.

Dear Abby >> I have a set of Chippendale-style dining chairs that are more than 100 years old. They are of sentimental value to me because I grew up with them. Recently, at considerable expense, I had them repaired and reupholstered. My husband’s son-in-law, “Isaac,” whom I love very much, weighs between 450 and 500 pounds. When the family is dining, he uses one of the chairs.

However, I don’t know how to convey to Isaac that the new chair is for him without causing offense or hurt feelings. Do you have a suggestion?

— Treading Lightly

Dear Treading >> Your husband should explain the potential problem to his daughter so SHE can point out to her husband that a special dining room chair has been acquired for him to use at family dinners.

Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.