Kay LaVina Lowe-Wendling, 74, passed away in the afternoon of Tuesday, December 6, 2022 in Boulder, Colorado. She was surrounded by family, enveloped in love and in the soft glow of a welcoming sunset.
She slipped away listening to Christmas hymns and the reassuring sounds of her husband, Bob, and her sons, Kyle and Cory, letting her know that they were with her in the murky shade between here and there.
She lingered in that place for a moment before stepping away with the conviction of a woman who had glimpsed the verity of her own faith.
She was not eager to leave, but she knew she could not stay. She spent the previous two years living with ALS on her own terms; similarly, she braved the final steps according to her own design. And in the emptiness and space of her departure, we were left to cry, celebrate, sigh, and linger in memories. We all understood the truth about how unique and loving a soul she was. Irreplaceable. A rare oneoff.
Kay was born on April 28, 1948 in La Junta, CO to Glenn and LaVina Lowe. Her childhood was filled with the sweet melodies of her mother's singing and the hearty belly laughs following her dad's practical jokes. Kay's passion for learning and adventure star ted early in life, cross-legged on the floor in front of the magazine rack at her parents' small drugstore and pharmacy in Wiley, CO. She sat there for long periods of time, devouring the newest comic book, only to take breaks to socialize with the customers as they entered the store. When she needed to stretch her legs, she would journey over to the vacant lot next door, climb the big dirt hill, and sing at the top of her lungs. This was Kay - imaginative, charming, active, vibrant.
After a childhood in a variety of small Eastern Colorado towns, playing with her younger siblings Susan and Glenn, riding her bicycle all over town, helping her mother with their daycare, kicking a football in the street with her dad after dinner, and winning awards at science fairs, Kay and her family settled in Hugo, CO. As a member of the Hugo High School graduating class of 17 in 1966, Kay was destined to become deeply involved in all aspects of her high school's activities. She literally did, and was, everything - from the social to the academic (NHS).
Kay continued her adventure in Boulder where she attended the University of Colorado and earned a bachelor's degree in Elementary Education and English Literature. She loved learning about learning, diving deep into how the human brain works so that she could better support her students. It makes sense that she would go on to earn her master's degree in Educational Psychology from the University of Northern Colorado, a certification in instruction for children with learning difficulties from London University College, and certifications in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL) from the Universities of Texas and Colorado.
Kay was a master educator in several states and countries.
She was playful and engaging with her second and third graders, researched creative teaching methods for her students with specific learning difficulties, and listened intently to the diverse stories of her students learning the English language .
As an undergraduate, Kay somehow managed to find time to volunteer in the nursery at First Christian Church on 28th Street. It was there that she met Vera Wendling who, one day, showed Kay a picture of her handsome son, Bob.
And that led to a lunch with Bob and his parents. And a basketball game first date. And a young romance cut short by a cross-country move.
And a rekindled love on California's coast. And then, a wedding. On August 4,1973, Kay married Bob, the love of her life, and kept on loving him, faithfully and loyally, for 49 years. She was a joyful light.
Her joy was contagious - so contagious that, while in a limo on her 50th birthday with Bob and some of her closest friends, the driver heard Kay giggling in the backseat and could not help but giggle too. The driver had to pull over to compose himself before continuing down the road!
Kay was an equally fantastic mother (and grandmother/motherin-law) as she was a wife. She was the mother who comforted her son in the middle of a hot Texas parking lot, her nervous little football player anxious to play in his first game.
She was the mother who adventured with her sons all over the globe, skiing in Switzerland, Austria and France, exploring castles in England, Scotland, Wales and Spain, diving in Hawaii and Australia, and helming a sailboat for her crew along the coast of Turkey. She was the grandmother who gave standing ovations for correct color sorting and offered extra scoops of whipped cream on pumpkin pie. She was the mother-in-law who encouraged her daughter-in-law to stay positive and give infertility treatments a try because she believed in miracles (and science). She snuggled and danced and read books on the floor.
Kay's love extended beyond her family. Her love was extravagant and was poured out to all. Strangers became friends. Friends became soul-sisters. She was rumored to use every dish in her house when entertaining. A gold-rimmed plate for this, a tiny spoon for that. Freshly assembled flower arrangements on the table (that were to be showcased at an upcoming Longmont Fun with Flowers group event). Ornate and beautiful and hand-washed. She served only the best of the best for guests, her people, even if that meant she would spend the entire next day cleaning up.
And Kay served whole-heartedly. She helped put on a Gender Expansive Fashion Show at her church in support and celebration of the LGBTQ+ community and coordinated the Jefferson County Public Schools' program for refugees. She was a member of Cairn Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), served on the Peace and Justice and Green Chalice Environmental Committees, and helped lead the New Women's group. She once said that if she were ever to go to jail, it would be for "social justice picketing."
She saw beauty in all things. In the art she loved to collect. In Cory's theatrical performances. In a child with dyslexia learning how to read. In you.
And she taught us to hold beautiful things delicately, sacredly. To appreciate the good even more because of the bad. To look boldly into the darkness and illuminate it with our light. And so, Kay leaves a bit of her vibrant light with us as she slips away from this life's sunset and walks (skips...jump...runs!) towards the sunrise of what is to become.
Kay is survived by her adoring husband, Bob Wendling of Boulder, CO; her son, Kyle Wendling, and his partner, Aniko Szucs, of Brooklyn NY; her son, Cory Wendling, his wife, Kristen Mascareñas Wendling, and their son, Asher Wendling, of Erie, CO; and her brother Glenn Edward Lowe II of Eagle, CO. Kay is predeceased by her parents, Glenn and LaVina Lowe, and her sister, Susan Lowe Macartney.
Graveside services for the immediate family have been held. A Celebration of Life is planned in early 2023. If you are interested in receiving details about this service, please email tvwcve78@ gmail.com. Donations in Kay's honor may be made to the Tennyson Center for Children, Denver, Cairn Christian Church, Lafayette, CO, and the ALS Association, Rocky Mountain Chapter.