PEBBLE BEACH >> If heaven has a ground floor, this must be it, where the land and the sea meet to create golf’s most picturesque, breathtaking backdrop.

My playing partner was more reserved in his praise.

“Nice course. I’d play it again,” said the corporate finance guy who drove up from Orange County and crashed our recent foursome at Pebble Beach Golf Links.

Look, some golf snobs have an ugly habit of downplaying Pebble. Some say nearby Spyglass is a better course, or that Cypress Point is the true bucket-list destination inside the Del Monte Forest.

Not me. Every shot at Pebble Beach can be iconic.

It will replay in a golfer’s mind any time that hole is shown on television, which will happen often July 6-9, when the U.S. Women’s Open is played here for the first time.

“I’ve been to so many great places over the course of my golf career,” USGA CEO Mike Whan said, “but this is the one I take vacation to go do.”

The USGA typically invites the media to play and survey the grounds before major championships. That’s how I first teed off at Pebble Beach, ahead of the 2010 and 2019 men’s U.S. Opens. Tweaks to the layout or setup surely demand we stay up to date to review nature’s artwork.

Rules when playing Pebble: Don’t fret about the score, inhale the ocean air, visualize a successful shot, and stay positive to make this the happiest place on Earth.

Here is what it’s like to play Pebble, for those who’ve never played it or may never get a chance:

Hole No. 1 — Par-4, 344 yards: Stepping onto the tee box, just outside the pro shop and near the Rolex clock, is akin to an amateur actor stepping into the spotlight on a Broadway stage. The driver stays in the bag on shot No. 1, then pray for a quick read of the green’s speed.

How I played it: Poked a 4-hybrid out about 200 yards, mishit my approach, chipped onto the green for a 2-foot gimmie putt. Score: Par.

Hole No. 2 — Par-5, 507 yards: Bombs away. This is the first of Pebble’s four par-5 holes. Reaching the bunker-flanked green in two shots is possible, but coming up short could send you down the sand-trap moat.

How I played it: Boomed my drive, laced a 3-wood within 10 yards of the green, chunked my chip shot, and got humbled. Score: Bogey, +1 (cumulative)

Hole No. 3 — Par-4, 381 yards: Welcome to this dogleg-left hole. If you’re a gambler, grip tighter with your right thumb, rip a hook shot toward the ocean, soar it over the trees on the left, hope for the best. A straight-away driver could be too much into traps or the hill.

How I played it: Hooked a beauty over the trees, found the ball in the fairway within about 75 yards from the green, then three-putted. Score: Bogey, +2

Hole No. 4 — Par-4, 307 yards: Sure, it’s the shortest par-4, but danger lurks, from the bunkers to Stillwater Cove on the right flank, to the tiny green.

How I played it: Safely hit a 200-yard 4-hybrid off the tee, wedged onto the green (sounds like lunch), and missed my birdie putt. Score: Par, +2

Hole No. 5 — Par-3, 186 yards: First chance at a hole-in-one. Another chance to veer right down the cliff into trouble.

How I played it: Pulled my 6-iron onto the left fringe, two-putted. Score: Par, still +2

Hole No. 6 — Par-5, 493 yards: “Did you get over the hill in two?” It is the customary, post-round question from jealous friends. A hefty drive down the middle — safely away from the bunkers on the left and the cliff on the right — can set up the go-for-the-gusto blind shot up (and over?) the hill.

How I played it: Successfully crested the hill in two and landed on the runway about 40 yards shy of the green. And then? Three-putts never had a better view. Score: Bogey, +3

Hole No. 7 — Par-3, 107 yards: The signature, picturesque peninsula may require only a wedge down the hill to paydirt. Then again, winds off the water will wreck that idealism. Mind games ensue as you club up and give a nod to the golf and ocean gods.

How I played it: A pitching wedge safely deposited my Titleist on the front-left side of the green. Alas, birdie-putt pressure sent me reeling to three-putt dejection. Score: Bogey, +4

Hole No. 8 — Par-4, 394 yards: Here lies the “toughest second shot in golf,” for it requires about a 200-yard shot over a canyon and onto a recalibrated green.

How I played it: Executed a 200-yard drive, then perfected a 200-yard drop shot onto the green. Alas, another three-putt awaited. Score: Bogey, +5

Hole No. 9 — Par-4, 432 yards: Welcome to oceanfront living. This is the first of back-to-back holes that hover alongside Carmel Beach. Fairways slope down to the right but are wide enough to hit. Approach shots offer downhill help.

How I played it: This actually was where my group started our round, amid howling winds, familiar nerves and wide-eyed appreciation of the surroundings. Thus a bogey would have felt like a par. Score: Double bogey, +7

Hole No. 10 — Par-4, 428 yards: Avoid the traps on the left with a solid drive, hit a fine approach, drop in a simple two-putt, then bid adieu to the ocean until the grand finale.

How I played it: Avoided the traps by going too far left, nailing an approach that still came up 50 yards short of the green, made a bogey that felt like a par. Score: Bogey, +8

Hole No. 11 — Par-4, 367 yards: It’s not wickedly far, but the uphill angle doesn’t come with a clear view of the green (or its bunkers).

How I played it: Safely struck a drive that left about 100 yards to the green, which I flew via a rude wedge. I landed on the 12th tee box, apologized to the group there, and chipped onto the green for a two-putt. Score: Bogey, +9

Hole No. 12 — Par-3, 173 yards: Ah, peace and quiet in the course’s cozy corner. A right-to-left iron shot could help avoid the bunkers fronting the left side of the green. Trees to the green’s right — and bunkers behind it — could mean jail.

How I played it: My 7-iron shot my ball through the green and onto the back rough, for an awkward balancing act above a bunker. Miraculously, I did not roll into that bunker or any others all day. Score: Bogey, +10

Hole No. 13 — Par-4, 389 yards: Teeing off through trees and into a great pasture is seductive. But this takes two solid pokes to get on the green, dodge bunkers and make par.

How I played it: Poorly. Lost my drive right into your hedge fund owner’s backyard, laid up on the make-up approach, shanked a shot over the green, eventually escaped. Score: Triple bogey, +13

Hole No. 14 — Par-5, 545 yards: This is the No. 1 handicap (hardest hole) for both men and women, because it’s tough to scale the hill, after a dogleg-right drive, onto a sloping green that is fronted by a deep bunker.

How I played it: Crushed my drive onto the fairway, skulled a second shot up the right, wedged onto the green, gleefully two-putted. Score: Par, +13

Hole No. 15 — Par-4, 374 yards: Pretty matter-of-fact straight shot down the road, as long as you cross the creek by the tee box and avoid the traps.

How I played it: Ho-hum par that went according to script. Drive the fairway, lob an approach within 15 feet of the hole, miss the birdie putt. Score: Par, +13

Hole No. 16 — Par-4, 376 yards: Similar distance to last hole but vastly different designs. A driver could plow through the fairway, unless you draw it enough to set up, say, a 125-yard approach onto this green encircled by trees and bunkers.

How I played it: Just as I prescribed above, but with a three-putt finish. Score: Bogey, +14

Hole No. 17 — Par-3, 175 yards: Iconic hole that juts toward the ocean. Play it safe by aiming for the right side of the green, or be a hero and sail the bunkers to reach the left side of the green?

How I played it: Played it too safe, veered wide right, chipped closer to the green, then chipped over the green to the left rough … then chipped into the hole, just a step from Tom Watson’s famous chip-in for birdie toward his 1982 U.S. Open win. Watson’s spot is commemorated with a plaque atop that hallowed ground; as for me, I didn’t even make a divot. Score: Bogey, +15

Hole No. 18 — Par-5, 527 yards: One of the most majestic closing holes in golf, starting with the tee box that stares at the oceanfront rocks. Slam a drive left of the tree in the middle of the fairway, then either lay up or go for broke, knowing that drifting right means danger behind a towering Cypress tree. Bunkers encircle the green, as do fans.

How I played it: Drove it well past the tree, hit the best 3-wood of my life to reach the green in two, though it rolled just onto the back fringe. Eagle putt chance? Yes. Three-putt in the end? Yes. Score: Par, +15 for a total of 87 strokes.

Hole No. 19 — Tap Room? The Lodge? Carmel?: When it comes to après-ski, there’s no better place to do your math and add up scores than, well, almost any watering hole after the round. Pebble offers plenty of options, from the tradition-rich Tap Room to the Lodge’s other hospitality spots with ocean views.

How I played it: Grabbed a diet soda to go, took a bite of sushi, and drove the 1½-hour cart path home.