Dear Amy >> For years I have wanted to switch companies for a different position. The company I was interested in approached me out of the blue and offered me a great job. After several meetings and detailing all the particulars I gave notice to my current employer and while they were extremely disappointed, they wished me well.

Once I was scheduled to begin the new position, I froze and was overcome with anxiety. Most of it was the regret of hurting the employers who had been very nice to me over the years, as well as the fear of having to learn all different systems, which felt overwhelming at the time.

I told the new company I needed to put this new start date off a couple of months and told my current employers I would stay while I thought things through.

They were thrilled and have done everything to make my job better. I am beyond grateful to both companies for handling this so well, and I am happy to not be forced to choose until I am ready.

I am now overcome with shame, embarrassment and just feel like a dope.

Eventually I will want to try out this new position, but I fear that when I am ready it is going to be even harder to leave the old company since they are now pulling out all the stops to make me happy!

I feel so foolish for not seizing a great opportunity and at the same time want to be fair to both, but I’m not sure how to make the move later when I’m having such a hard time now?

— Mortified

Dear Mortified >> If New Company had refused your request to delay your start time, you’d have made your choice and adjusted to all the frightening changes by now.

The generous options these companies have allowed you to pursue seem to have paralyzed you.

Now you must make a decision. I can’t tell you what decision to make, but you have to make one. The longer you delay, the more like a dope you will feel.

If you leave, you may regret it. If you stay, you might also have regrets.

It’s OK to stumble a bit. It’s OK to pursue an opportunity but then change your mind.

But you’ve turned what should be a transactional experience into an emotionally fraught experience.

Decide what is best for you — not these two employers. And make your choice, notify them and commit to the choice you’ve made. If you end up declining to move to New Company, thank them sincerely for their patience and tell them that Old Company has made staying where you are the best choice.

Dear Amy >> You gave a helpful response to “Buried,” who was trying to cope with a paper-hoarding spouse.

Setting up online accounts will help to reduce paper. They should also invest in a scanner. Scanned documents can pile up virtually, and will not contribute to the paper clutter.

— Scanned That

Dear Scanned >> Great suggestion. Thank you.

Contact Amy Dickinson via email, askamy@amydickinson.com.