Abandon hope, all souls who dare partake of an afternoon tea bereft of clotted cream.

The quintessentially English condiment, a thick and rich cream known for anointing scones, is among the criteria that Queen of Afternoon Tea, a food critic whose TikTok reviews of teahouses have skyrocketed in the past few months, deems requisite for a proper afternoon tea.

Queen of Afternoon Tea, a 40-something woman based in Ontario, Canada, who asked to remain anonymous, has helped guide a new generation of budding gastronomes through the world of afternoon tea, a maximalist, tiered dining experience once reserved for Easter Sundays and demure bachelorette parties.

In just over a year, Queen of Afternoon Tea has amassed more than 255,000 followers on TikTok, with some of her videos garnering millions of views. Her most popular review, about a Burlington, Ontario, tea spot, drew 8 million views. The seven-minute, pointed review, in part, helped her rise in popularity over the past month, with a follower count that has quadrupled in the past 30 days or so. “It’s pretty overwhelming, to be honest,” she said.

In an era recovering from turgid bro-chef culture, reclaimed wood, the forced socializing of the dreaded communal table, and fast-casual ubiquitousness, afternoon tea offers a refreshing throwback that Queen of Afternoon Tea has helped a new, younger generation discover.

Who is Queen of Afternoon Tea?

Before becoming TikTok famous, Queen of Afternoon Tea started an Ontario tearoom website and accompanying Instagram and Facebook pages. Her love of tea service, for which she credits her grandmother, who introduced her to the quasi-formal dining ritual, soon took her to places like Las Vegas and Miami, where she and her husband would check out the local tea scenes.

“My husband and I, or whoever I was with, were going for afternoon tea to places outside of Ontario,” she said. “I don’t have anywhere to share this information, because I didn’t want to inundate my Ontario followers with places in Florida, Las Vegas or Ohio.” A little over a year ago, she started posting her reviews on TikTok, using one of the social media platform’s filters to not only help conceal her voice but also create a persona.

“I was trying to decide which filter fit best, and then I settled on the granny one and have stuck with it,” she explained. “Originally it was really just about me not liking my voice, but then the filter morphed into a personality for me, I guess.”

Since finding fame on TikTok, Queen and her informed opinions have helped a new generation uncover the joys of afternoon tea, taught American audiences about clotted cream (also known as Devonshire cream) and stoked the flames of online discourse.

A tale of tea

Afternoon tea, as opposed to high tea, is the British-born tradition of partaking in freshly brewed tea in the afternoon, traditionally between 3 and 4 p.m., with light fare consisting of, but not limited to, small sandwiches, scones with the aforementioned cream and jam, cakes and pastries, all of which arrive at the table stacked on a three-tiered serving platter. Sandwiches (finger-size, preferably) on the bottom, scones in the middle and sweets on top.

High tea, despite its lofty title, has its origins in the working class, who’d have a mug or pot of tea with heartier fare like meat pies, fish or eggs. “Its origins stem from when workers either came in from the field, or the servants downstairs, like the ones in ‘Downton Abbey,’ had finished serving the people upstairs. They would have high tea, which would be more meaty and bready, kind of like a supper meal for them,” she explained.

High tea gets its name from the tables on which it was often served — i.e., high tables, like dining tables or dining counters. The Queen of Afternoon Tea continued, “High tea was eaten at a dining room table with higher chairs, as opposed to afternoon tea, which was usually in a salon or a drawing room at the front of the house.”

Done to a ‘T’

What distinguishes a good afternoon tea from a mediocre one? For starters, the venue should be distinctive. After all, a brief reprieve from daily toil on this mortal coil is what, in part, makes afternoon tea culinary escapism.

“A venue should be unique in some way, if possible,” she said. “I’m kind of a garden-tea girly where there’s lots of bright or natural light, flowers and gardening type things.” She also gives high marks to high-end hotels that hold afternoon teas. She adds, “Of course, not every location is going to score high marks on having an amazing location, and therefore they need to make it up for the food.”

The food portion of afternoon tea should have three tiers represented, with the first reserved for savory fare.

“You have savories represented by way of finger sandwiches or little bites that you eat with your fingers, like hors d’oeuvres, quiches, mini-quiches, puff pastries,” she said. “I like to be diverse … fresh and tasty, where there are multiple flavors and textures. Maybe that’s a bit different than the origins in England, where it’s mainly just finger sandwiches. I kind of deviate a little bit from that.”

The second tier should consist of scones, which Queen of Afternoon Tea considers imperative. “Everybody needs a scone. One or two scones that need to be served with proper clotted cream.”

Clotted cream, for the uninitiated, is a slowly thickened cream made with full-fat cow’s milk that is cooked using steam or a water bath and then cooled slowly to achieve its texture (think softened cream cheese). During the cooling process, the cream content floats to the surface and forms “clots,” hence the name. The finished product should taste neither tangy nor sweet.

“It doesn’t taste like whipping cream, cream cheese, butter, mascarpone or cottage cheese. It truly has its own distinct flavor, which makes it hard to describe,” she said in her three-part series about clotted cream.

While one hopes afternoon tea rooms serve clotted cream, many of them, according to Queen, get away with faux versions.

“The problem is that most people don’t know what clotted cream is, and so a lot of tea rooms pass off some kind of housemade mixture that they concocted in their kitchen as clotted cream,” she said. “And I can usually tell the difference, because I understand the difference, but I understand that a lot of people don’t, so it’s unfortunate that tea rooms are able to serve whatever concoction they’ve created.”

Above all, she continues, afternoon tea requires scones. “Scones and scone accompaniments are what make afternoon tea afternoon tea. Otherwise you’re just having funeral sandwiches and a plate of Christmas cookies.”

And the final tier of the meal is usually reserved for mini-cakes, pastries and jellies. “Similar to the sandwiches, I like there to be diversity in colors and flavors and shapes and textures. I like chocolate, so I like to find a chocolate item, but there should also be a fruit item, and there should be something creamy and something with a little bit of crispness or texture to it.”

While it’s easy to get caught up in the maximalist offerings on any given afternoon, the titular tea is, of course, a key ingredient. “Having quality loose leaf tea is very important for afternoon tea, with a number of options for people that like to try different things,” said Queen of Afternoon Tea, who usually opts for an Earl Grey.

While most spots get the tea part right, others flail at it. “There’s a tea room that I went to in Las Vegas that completely botched the whole tea business,” she said. “That should really be the easiest part for a business is steeping tea properly.”

Teas should come in a wide range, from black to green to herbal, steeped and ready to sip before or during food service. Descriptions of each tea are also a nice touch for better-educated guests.

Queen of Afternoon Tea also gives high marks for fresh bread (many places seem to defrost and warm up packed rolls), thoughtful and informed service, and tranquil yet stimulating environs.

The fickle finger of fame

Her seemingly overnight ascent in the food realm, making her the Keith Lee of afternoon tea, has had some minor drawbacks. For now, she remains anonymous but understands that in today’s digital age, where, thanks to social media’s inescapable presence, anonymity has turned into a precious resource that few can maintain, she might show her face at some point. And a recent review about a tea room’s cupcakes resulted in a minor dust-up with the owner, but her fans, who eat up her honest reviews, had their queen’s back.

Like any ethical food critic, Queen of Afternoon Tea pays for her own meals (for now it’s a hobby; she maintains a full-time job outside the tea universe), keeps her reviews conscientious and devoid of favoritism, and shows a deep respect for and understanding of the sumptuous dining ritual.

Her bucket list includes the St. James Tea Room in Albuquerque, New Mexico. “I’ve been following them online forever, and it’s very thematic,” she noted.

Enjoy the unknown

A highlight of afternoon tea is its tasting-menu aspect. Outside of allergy issues, most afternoon tea rooms have changing menus, which, she explained, is part of the fun.

“The great thing about afternoon tea is that, for me, it’s a surprise. You don’t know how it’s going to be presented. You don’t know exactly what kind of food you’re going to get in terms of flavors and how they’re going to put it all together — and I like that mystery.”