Dear Eric >> I was a latch-key kid in the ’70s, no father, working mom of three kids. No one was ever there to read me a story, watch me make a basket or catch a ball. I now have a 7-year-old girl. I thrive watching her in her weekly two-hour gym class and Girl Scout meetings, where I am a troop leader. I see most parents focused on their cellphones during these activities and it makes me sad for the kids.

My issue: A Girl Scout dad engages me constantly during troop meetings, telling me about the latest horror of his ugly separation and upcoming divorce, usually within earshot of the kids. I offer simple responses to give him the message that I am busy watching my kid and not interested in the drama. I say: “Wow,” “that’s awful,” or “sorry to hear that,” all while keeping my eyes on the kids. He hasn’t gotten the message. Aside from his bad “ex etiquette,” how do I get this guy to leave me alone? All I want to do is watch the kids interact and have fun. People being people, I feel that saying anything at all will cause trouble.

— Not Interested

Dear Not Interested >> You’ve found a beautiful and deeply impactful way of giving your daughter the things that you didn’t get as a child. I hope it continues to be a rewarding and healing relationship. And I understand why this other father’s behavior is causing so much strife. This guy is going through a tough moment, and it seems like he needs an ear. That’s no crime; it’s relatable. But he needs to choose a better moment.

You don’t have to parent another parent here, but clear redirection is necessary. Try speaking with him before or after a meeting. Tell him what you’ve noticed and suggest an alternative that will help you both better serve the troop. “It’s really important for me to give my full attention to what’s going on with the scouts in these meetings. Sometimes you’ll tell me stories and it pulls me away. I don’t want to be rude, so can we keep the conversation focused on the troop while we’re in here?”

You can even be more direct by telling him that you don’t think it’s appropriate to talk about his divorce within earshot of the kids. As you said, people are people, and he may be affronted by this. Respectfully, that’s not something you can control or fix. You can set a good example, tend to your side of the street and make it clear what you’re asking of this relationship. If he can’t or won’t respect that, that’s on him. By remaining focused on what you’re there to do, you’re helping yourself, your daughter, his daughter and setting a good example for him.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com