Dear Abby >> I am an adult child of an alcoholic. My mother is a mean drunk. While growing up, I had to act as her therapist and deal with her co-dependency. I have been lucky to have processed a lot of the trauma in therapy and to have a loving and healthy family of my own now. We actively avoid Mom after 3 p.m. because I don’t want my kids subjected to her cruelty. I do not think it is healthy for them to be around abusive, inebriated people.

I am pregnant. My mom has always wanted to be in the delivery room for a birth. However, I would rather she not be in the delivery room with us. I don’t want to be around her when she’s drunk because of her tendency to make everything about herself, cause drama and upset me. I’d rather not have to deal with her narcissism while giving birth.

We had our first child during the COVID pandemic, so we had an excuse to not have her there. The birth was extremely traumatic, and we are lucky that our child made it. My godmother wants to be in the delivery room, since she could never have her own kids. I’d love for her to be there. We are very close and get along great. How do I broach the issue of wanting my godmother there but not my alcoholic mother?

— Delivering the News

Dear Delivering >> Here’s how: Stop pussyfooting around the subject and be completely honest with your mother. This birth experience is for YOU, not for her. The patient needs to be calm and relaxed and not be exposed to any toxic energy BECAUSE AN INCREASE IN THE BLOOD PRESSURE OF THE MOTHER CAN NEGATIVELY AFFECT THE BABY. If your godmother provides the emotional support you need, you should have her with you, and make no apologies for it.

Dear Abby >> My friend “Cindra” has two children. Both are homeschooled and not able to do many things on their own. Cindra and I have very different views and philosophies on raising children.

My children are about the same age as her kids. Since her kids were babies, she has allowed her daughter and son to co-sleep with her and her husband.

Cindra’s daughter is now 11, and her son is 9. The girl has started puberty, and it seems inappropriate for the kids to still be co-sleeping with their parents at this age. I care for her kids, and I’m concerned about their well-being. Should I confront Cindra about this? Or would I cross the line by doing so?

— Another Mother in Texas

Dear Mother >> Parents have the right to raise their children as they see fit, as long as there is no abuse. Now that the daughter is at the point where she’s becoming a young woman, she may WANT to have some privacy. I don’t see anything to be gained by mentioning this subject to Cindra.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.