Every Sunday, Kevin Cusick makes his predictions against the latest Las Vegas point spread, the way God intended …

Texans at Vikings (+2½)

The unbeaten Vikings face another tough challenge in Houston. The Texans have built a Super Bowl contender the old-fashioned way: By sucking for several years and praying that Carolina drafted Bryce Young.

Pick: Texans by 3

Eagles at Saints (-2½)

Saquon Barkley stars in a new ad for Applebees in which he runs a plate of boneless wings out to some hungry customers. Viewers might not immediately recognize the Eagles’ RB because he doesn’t drop the wings.

Pick: Saints by 3

Chiefs at Falcons (+3½)

Former Viking Kirk Cousins led a last-minute comeback win Monday night in Philadelphia. It was a great relief considering that, at the QB’s current pace, the Falcons are paying him more than $5 million per win.

Pick: Chiefs by 7

Panthers at Raiders (-5½)

Carolina QB Bryce Young has been benched in favor of ancient Andy Dalton. While the move raised eyebrows, it could be the franchise’s best move since turning down the ownership bid of Diddy.

Pick: Raiders by 11

Dolphins at Seahawks (-5½)

Miami QB Tua Tagovailoa is out indefinitely after suffering his latest concussion. He’s being urged by some Dolphins fans to ignore risk and return, though that’s mostly folks who are already suffering from brain impairment.

Pick: Seahawks by 7

Chargers at Steelers (-2½)

Onetime capable QB Russell Wilson got a game ball Sunday despite not setting foot on the field in Denver. Justin Fields and the Steelers won, in large part, because of Wilson never setting foot on the field.

Pick: Steelers by 7

Ravens at Cowboys (even)

John Harbaugh’s Ravens blew a late 10-point lead last Sunday and lost to the unremarkable Raiders. While it was bad for Baltimore, it was ruinous for most of the survivor pool survivors who didn’t take the Bengals over New England in Week 1.

Pick: Ravens by 7

Commanders at Bengals (-7½)

This matchup will preempt programming on ABC on a rare Monday night with two NFL games. This is especially disappointing for those viewers hoping to tune into the latest episode of “The Incontinent Bachelor.”

Pick: Bengals by 6

Giants at Browns (-6½)

An asteroid is passing close to Earth this week. While a direct strike on our planet could conceivably be the death knell for all humanity, it would spare us all from any further contact with the 2024 Giants.

Pick: Browns by 8

Packers at Titans (-2½)

Green Bay quarterback Malik Willis admitted that he decided not to make a particular pass last Sunday because his center had thrown up on the football. That’s newsworthy because most upchucking at Lambeau Field is usually limited to everyplace else in the neighborhood except the field.

Pick: Titans by 3

Other games

Bears at Colts (-1½):

Pick: Bears by 3

Broncos at Buccaneers (-6½):

Pick: Buccaneers by 7

Jaguars at Bills (-5½)

Pick: Bills by 7

49ers at Rams (+6½):

Pick: 49ers by 17

Lions at Cardinals (+2½)

Pick: Cardinals by 3

Record

Week 2

8-8 straight up

7-9 vs. spread

Season

20-12 straight up

17-15 vs. spread

All-time (2003-24)

3651-2032-14 straight up (.643)

2777-2776-144 vs spread (.500)

You can hear Kevin Cusick on Wednesdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. Follow Kevin on Twitter — @theloopnow. He can be reached at kcusick@pioneerpress.com.