Dear Eric >> I am a woman in my 60s with six siblings. Our parents are in their early 90s and have raised us to be thoughtful and respectful. Many of my siblings are female and have always gotten along famously, traveling together on girls’ trips and seeing each other for holidays and family celebrations.

In the past few years, it seems I’ve been forgotten. There are many occasions where I’ve been “accidentally” left off of invite texts for pool days and other things. They seem to pair off and plan trips, of which I am not included. I was once offered to join a week prior to the trip, needing to make plane reservations and other arrangements last minute.

Once I was invited to join them and sleep on the pull-out couch for a week. I declined. Today, I walked in on a conversation and asked what they were talking about. The look on my sisters’ faces having to share that they’re planning a trip said it all. They danced around the awkwardness of being discovered and assured me they would plan something so great that I’d want to join.

It’s very hurtful considering one of them is my twin. How do I navigate the betrayal?

— Odd Sibling Out

Dear Sibling >> Because you’ve traveled together before and because you live close enough to be able to walk in on them talking, a conversation is the right next step. You’re allowed to feel disappointed, hurt and even betrayed. And you can tell them that, using “I” statements, as in, “when I heard that you were planning a trip, I felt hurt that I wasn’t invited.”

This conversation can lead to the big question: what happened? It may be that they’ve started to appreciate a different style of travel or a different way of planning. But as adults, and as your siblings, they can be upfront about it. It may be a solvable issue. Or it may simply be quirks of personality.

Dear Eric >> By choice, I’m a single middle-aged adult with no kids. I’m an only child as well so I don’t have a lot of close family. I’ve managed to create a small but strong circle of friends. Something that brings me great joy is extending hospitality and generosity to the people I care about.

I’ve recently inherited quite a bit of money and real estate. It’s enough assets for me to have the option to retire early and still live comfortably for the rest of my life. My money is well-managed and conservatively invested. I’m developing a revocable trust and a donor-advised fund for recurrent charitable contributions during my lifetime and beyond.

Not too many people know about this inheritance, and I intend to keep it that way.

I will return to work at some point but right now my primary goal is to spend quality time with my dear friends and their families.

No one in my circle is particularly well-off financially. The activities we enjoy can be somewhat expensive. We’ve always split costs but now I would very much like to not have my friends feel obligated to pay me back. I would like them to relax and enjoy their time with me and not worry about money.

How can I communicate this to my friends?

— Gift Giver

Dear Gift Giver >> What a great heart you have. The simplest way to achieve your goal may be a version of the truth that’s not the whole truth. You may want to tell your friends that you’ve set aside a budget for outings, and you’d like to pay for them because it’s something that will be comfortable for you and you appreciate spending time with them. Talking about the funds you have for activities as a kind of discreet “fun money” account, is less likely to raise suspicions. And this isn’t bragging; it most likely will come across as prudent financial planning mixed with true generosity. They may not say yes to you paying every time, but hopefully they accept enough times to see that it truly isn’t an issue for you.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com