Dear Eric: One of my two daughters is getting married in a very small ceremony in August. It so happens to be on Labor Day weekend.

My own sister lives in Florida. When I emailed her (and our brothers) about this event, she responded immediately that, since it is Labor Day weekend, she wouldn’t be attending as she doesn’t go anywhere on major holidays due to crowds and potential flight delays.

I am beyond sad and disappointed. Do I simply let it go, or do I say anything and, if so, what?

— Sad Sister

Dear Sister: I understand the logic of not wanting to travel around major holidays. Your sister does have other options, though. She can come early, if her work allows for it, for instance. She can travel some or all of the way using means of transportation that aren’t planes. Or she can make the trek for family.

There are ways of talking about this without it coming across as criticism. Start by expressing what you feel you want her there, you’re sad she can’t make it, et cetera. And then ask a question — is there any way that we can make this work? Would you like my help to make this easier?

She may still choose to stay home, but by having a conversation with her that starts with your openness to hear her and respect her opinion, you may find a solution.

Dear Eric: A 20-something neighbor we have known since the age of 3 has recently come out to my husband and me as transgender. We have embraced and accepted “Sara” and are glad she feels able to be her authentic self to us. Sara’s parents, with whom she lives, are unaware of her transgender identity.

Our concern is for how our neighbors, whom we genuinely love, will take the fact that we knew about their child’s transgender identity before them. We have told Sara that we will not “out” her to her parents, but neither will we lie if we are asked.

How should we handle the eventual disclosure that we knew long before they were told?

— Mums the Word

Dear Mums: It’s so important that anyone who is sharing a new, potentially vulnerable part of themselves has a safe space before they tell the world. I hope her parents eventually see this as an extension of your love for their whole family.

In the interim, check in with Sara about your anxiety. It’s not her job to manage her parents’ emotions about this, nor is it yours, but being on the same page about the heaviness of the secret may help to unburden you. When you do have a talk with your friends, lead with love and with empathy. Acknowledge that it may be hard for them to find out you knew before them. Be patient with them, be consistent and clear about your care for them, and be steadfast in your love for Sara. That’s the message that will outlast the initial shock.

Send questions to eric@askingeric.com.