Dear Eric >> My brother and sister-in-law visit infrequently. After each visit I tell my husband that we will not host them again.

In the past, their arrival/departure times have been inconvenient. They converse loudly after others have retired for the evening or before others have risen in the morning. Doors are slammed simply from habit. Bath and bed linens are left in disarray.

They have helped themselves to our personal products even though we always say, “let us know if there is anything you need.”

They are provided comfortable accommodations and multiple meals, but never bring a host gift. I have the impression they feel entitled, as some of the families do not have financial concerns. Please let me know, shall I “buck up” and tolerate their lack of consideration, or suggest they book a room at one of several local hotels?

— Rental Relative

Dear Relative >> This is the paradox of telling guests, especially guests we’re related to, that they should “make themselves at home.” Just whose home are we talking about here? Because the way some of these folks are living? No thanks!

In the interest of peace, you should let go of some of your qualms — maybe the bed linens? Or, if you don’t want them to use your products, take them off the shelf. Part of this is just miscommunication — what’s a dollop of shampoo between relatives?

Pick one or two things that you’ll just chalk up to a difference in styles. With the rest, communicate clear expectations before the visit. For instance, if they plan to arrive at an inconvenient time, tell them it’s inconvenient and give them a range of times that work for you. If you expect a host gift — which, I agree, is the right gesture — tell them. “Next time you come, bring some of that local honey we like,” or something of that nature.

Dear Eric >> I’d like to offer my take on Love Language’s wife thinking his wild attraction to her is creepy. I haven’t been married as many years, but I am living this. I am in menopause, which I am certain is the same issue she has. I have almost completely lost my sex drive. I just plain am not interested in it. I love my husband with my whole heart. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn’t imagine life without him, but I just don’t care about sex anymore. I’m not attracted to anyone else either.

He knows I’m going through something. He just patiently waits until I initiate things. Sad but true. It may sound messed up but we both love each other deeply and are just wading through getting older together.

— Not Interested

Dear Not Interested >> Thank you so much for bringing up menopause. Too many men overlook it or are undereducated about it. I hope the letter writer will do some research and ask the right questions.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com.