In Boulder, finding the queer community is a bit like finding parking at the Saturday farmers market — there’s definitely something out there, but it’s not always obvious where to look. You circle, you squint, ponder momentarily at the Prius ahead of you, and wonder if you’ve missed a secret spot.

After more than two decades in Boulder, Nan Alpert felt that classic case of circling the block and coming up empty once DV8, the city’s only queer bar, closed its doors last year. So she started organizing parties in the daylight hours to help queer folks actually find each other.

The result is Boulder Q+, a grassroots LGBTQ+ community that Alpert launched earlier this year with her partner Ann Bloom. The flagship event, a monthly Sunday Tea Dance, is a cocktail-fueled, disco-scored gathering designed to help queer people connect and still be home in time for dinner.

The next Tea Dance will convene from 4 to 7 p.m Sunday at the Velvet Elk Lounge, 2037 13th St, Boulder.

Inspired by the classic afternoon tea dances of Provincetown and Fire Island, the Boulder version offers something slightly more elevated than a night at the local watering hole, but far more fun than a civic mixer. It’s a place where the lighting is flattering and no one is judging your two-step. There’s food, a rotating lineup of DJs and a dedicated dance floor.

Alpert, who spent years driving to Denver or flying to Los Angeles to find places to hang out with the queer community, decided it was time to stop traveling and start hosting.

Alpert had been living in Boulder and traveling regularly to Denver (and even Los Angeles) to attend queer events. Those gatherings felt electric and expansive, especially compared to what she saw back home. At a lesbian party in Los Angeles, she met her partner, Ann Bloom. But the sense of possibility she found in those larger cities kept tugging at her.

“I was really inspired by what was happening out there,” Alpert said. “This group in L.A. was able to bring together so many women in one place, but I kept thinking, it feels different in Boulder. I know there are gay people here, but like…where are they?”

In Boulder, Alpert spent months kicking around the idea of a regular queer-focused event, though her initial instinct was to do something more specific, like a weekly lesbian night. The more she considered it, the more Boulder seemed to need something more inclusive, frequent and sustainable enough to outlast a few good playlists.

“If it were just a lesbian night, who would actually show up?” Alpert said. “I wasn’t sure there’d be enough of a crowd. So we thought, let’s create something bigger, where more people can come together at once and build a real community.”

Rather than a late-night scene, the Boulder Q+ Tea Dances begin in the afternoon and finish before sundown.

“I loved the idea of a party with an early end time,” Alpert said. “It’s perfect for people who don’t want to be out all night, especially on a Sunday. You can dance, hang out, make friends, have a drink or two and still be in bed by 9.”

And not be hungover for work the next day.

The idea to throw an event specific to a tea dance came from Bloom, who had witnessed several of these events unfold firsthand during her time in Provincetown.

Before they were adopted by the queer community, Tea Dances were formal, buttoned-up afternoon socials in the English countryside. The wealthy set would nibble light snacks and non-alcoholic refreshments, partake in some gossip, hangin’ and a tasteful waltz or two.

By the 1950s and ‘60s, gay men had given the tradition new life, turning these gatherings into dry daytime parties — a much safer alternative, offering a safe space for socializing, as nighttime bars were under constant threat of being raided to restrict alcohol sales to homosexuals. In places like Fire Island and Provincetown, tea dances became an outlet for the queer community to meet each other and celebrate out in the open.

For Bloom, the goal was to create that same spirit at Boulder Q+’s Sunday parties — although in 2025, it’s perfectly acceptable to drink alcohol at these events. Instead of a typical gathering, Bloom said she pictured a party with good music, actual cocktails, food and space to dance.

“We wanted to create a space that was fun, sexy and sophisticated,” she said, “with great music and a real party feel.”

That space is a welcome addition to the Boulder LGTBQ+ scene. When DV8, Boulder’s only explicitly queer bar and performance space, shut its doors in August 2024, the city’s LGBTQ+ scene scattered almost overnight. In an October Facebook post last fall, the craft distillery, known as Deviant Spirits, announced it was closing its tasting room after nine years.Then suddenly, those casual drop-ins and impromptu dance floors disappeared. Alpert found herself staring at a rather bland social calendar.

“That was really the intention, to help fill the gap after DV8 closed,” she said.

Reaching the community hasn’t been straightforward, however. Alpert and Bloom have tried everything: flyers around town, Instagram blasts, personal phone calls, even crashing other queer events just to spread the word.

“We’ve been on social media, putting up flyers, making personal calls, going to other queer events to spread the word,” Alpert said.

She hoped to get in touch with the DV8 crew for their old mailing list, but that door never opened. “They’re amazing, but when they closed, it was like everything just shut down.”

In a city that enjoys marketing itself as inclusive, reaching those smaller communities has been a struggle.

“I think a lot of people still don’t know we’re doing this,” Alpert said. “That’s been the challenge. It takes time for the word to spread.”

For those who have found their way to the Tea Dances, the response has been enthusiastic.

“We’ve had a really positive response from both the LGBTQ+ community and allies,” she said. “Some people keep coming back, which is great. We’re starting to build something, but it’s slow.”

The first event pulled in about 60 people, but numbers have dropped off — no surprise, Alpert said, since Boulder tends to empty out once the weather warms up. Opening the event to everyone 21 and over, though, has brought a new sense of possibility.

“There’s something really beautiful about seeing young people and older people dancing in the same space,” she said. “Dancing brings joy. And the more joy, the better.”

The lineup for the Tea Dances consists of local spinners on the turntables DJ Nefertiti and DJ Silkworm. Alpert and Bloom said they are hoping to eventually land a consistent resident who brings the crowd back month after month.

After more than two decades in Boulder, Alpert still can’t believe how hard it’s been to find a steady queer space.

“As open as Boulder is, it’s kind of surprising there hasn’t been more for the queer community,” she said.

These days, the Velvet Elk Lounge has become the unofficial home base, stepping up to host Tea Dances and waving the rental fee in support.

“They want to be known as a queer-friendly venue,” Alpert said, “and they’ve been really supportive.”

While you may have been reserving your Sundays for binging “Love Island,” doing laundry, or playing canasta with Grandma Ruth, perhaps it’s time to switch up the end-of-weekend schedule and come out to the Tea Dance — and even bring Grandma Ruth.

“Everyone can come to this thing,” Alpert said. “It doesn’t matter if you’re 22 or 70, gay, lesbian, or an ally, you’re welcome here.”