Dear Eric >> I will turn 65 soon and have announced my plans to retire. I have a long list of things I want to do, and after 50 years of employment and saving, I am well situated for these next years. At least, that is what my financial adviser and balance sheets tell me.

I yearn for more discretionary time and my physical health tells me I need to get out from under a desk. My problem is that I am getting cold feet about leaving a paycheck behind.

After a lifetime of saving, how do I let myself relax into just spending?

I know this is a good problem to have on the surface, but it really is torturing me. I need some words of wisdom to help me get to the other side. Can you help me?

— Undecided Plans

Dear Plans >> You know how sometimes you go on vacation but you’re not in the mood to vacation for a day or two? Unfortunately, we don’t have a relaxation switch. So, don’t try to force yourself to suddenly be in retirement mode if you’re not. Make a plan for your days and your goals that’s realistic. You have time to get used to this new phase.

You’ve trusted your financial adviser thus far; when you start to feel anxious about leaving a check behind, reach out. “Remind me that I’m fine.” People do this with financial advisers all the time.

This is a transition, a big one. Give yourself space and time to feel that and the freedom to change course whenever you want.

Dear Eric >> My sister is going through a divorce after 40 years of marriage. It has been a long time coming during which time I have seen her often berate her husband in front of family and friends for doing things the rest of us could not recognize. Now she has separated and set up her own place in another state from her husband. I went to visit her and tried to be supportive of her new life.

Over the holidays, I visited my brother-in-law because it is on the way to where we were going to spend the holidays. He introduced us to his new girlfriend.

I had told my sister we would be stopping there but when she found out I met the girlfriend, she became enraged at me saying I wasn’t supportive and should have told her ex that I was uncomfortable with meeting his girlfriend, which I was not.

She has been texting me since saying how disloyal I am and that she can’t talk to me, but I am so angry I just want to tell her to stop contacting me. I can’t figure out how to go forward.

— ‘Tired of Being Yelled At

Dear Tired >> For now, acknowledge that her anger is real and that your anger is also real. You don’t need to stay in contact through this, though. Tell her you’re sorry that she was hurt by you meeting the girlfriend and that you’re going to give her some space. It communicates with her that you two need to stop talking about the situation with her ex while also setting a clear boundary around what you can and will be talking about.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com.