As a mediator, I have facilitated a variety of conflicts. In the past, people were more willing to own the impact of their behavior and able to say “I’m sorry” or “I didn’t intend to treat you that way.” As our world has become more divided people are stuck in being right, living in fear about what to say and challenged to apologize.

From geopolitical struggles between nations to rising tensions within local communities, this state of conflict isn’t just about the clashing of armies or political ideologies. It is something more profound: a widespread disconnection among people. This disconnection manifests as an inability to offer or accept apologies and acknowledge harm. We find ourselves in a world where lies and dehumanizing behaviors are becoming the norm, leading to societal fractures.

At the heart of this growing global conflict is the absence of genuine human connection. The simple act of saying “I’m sorry” or “I didn’t mean to hurt you” can often resolve tensions, yet people find themselves unable to express these sentiments. The rise of social media and tribalistic thinking has driven many into echo chambers where opposing perspectives are viewed with suspicion, and the “other” is dehumanized. When people are unable to acknowledge their wrongdoings, conflict becomes entrenched, eroding our ability to relate and find connections.

This disconnection is evident in the United States political system, which is a breeding ground for false narratives, blatant lies and a complete lack of accountability. Leaders across the political spectrum have adopted rhetoric designed to divide, appealing to emotions, such as fear and resentment. Politicians peddle misinformation or half-truths, often turning complex issues into simple narratives that cast one group against another. Owning up to mistakes or extending a desire to listen to other perspectives becomes a sign of weakness.

Lies and misleading statements dehumanize those who disagree, framing them as enemies rather than community members. Political leaders frequently refuse to take accountability for their actions, fostering a culture where wrongdoings are justified, rationalized or ignored altogether.

The divisive nature of our political discourse has trickled down to everyday interactions whereby admitting fault or apologizing is increasingly rare. People double down on their positions, contributing to a societal atmosphere of hostility and dehumanization.

Failure to take responsibility for harm, whether on a personal, national or international scale, has dire consequences. Disconnection fosters environments where people feel alienated and inclined to perpetuate cycles of anger and bitterness.

At the global level, the consequences of this disconnection are more pronounced. Without a sense of shared humanity, warring nations — like individuals in conflict — refuse to acknowledge wrongdoing, choosing to justify aggression and violence. Lack of accountability leads to endless cycles of retribution perpetuating suffering on a massive scale.

There are steps to take to foster relationships on individual and societal levels. They are about creating relational practices that shift how we interact.

• The simplest step we can take is to say “I’m sorry” and take accountability for our actions. Acknowledging the impact of our behavior and language when we’ve hurt others opens the door to healing and reconciliation. In a world that prizes being “right” over being kind, an apology can be a revolutionary act.

• Conflict will always exist, but how we handle it can make a difference. Instead of avoiding difficult conversations, we need to embrace them with openness and a willingness to learn and connect. Engaging with opposing perspectives as opportunities for growth fosters empathy and understanding.

• The political system thrives on false narratives and dehumanizing behaviors, and we can choose to combat these by seeking truth and sharing accurate information. Rejecting simplified narratives and committing to an understanding of complex issues allows us to resist polarizing forces that seek to divide us.

• Empathy is a powerful antidote to disconnection. By actively working to understand and share feelings we begin to bridge divides that separate us. Practicing empathy means recognizing the humanity in everyone, even those we disagree with.

• Building inclusive communities is important at home, in the workplace and in society at large. Fostering spaces of belonging where people feel seen, heard and valued will restore relational bonds and reduce conflict.

What choices are you making to reduce conflict?

Bill de la Cruz lives in Erie.