Dear Amy: When my elderly parents were in an assisted-living facility, my older sister and brother lived nearby. My father earned a very good living and was a meticulous planner. They accumulated a sizable nest egg that enabled them to live very comfortably in retirement, with the likelihood that there would be a reasonable sum after they died.

After my father developed Alzheimer’s disease, my brother agreed to assume control of their finances. After our father’s death, my sister took on the role, and is now in charge of mom’s finances.

To her horror, she discovered that my brother took lots of money from our mother’s accounts for his use, including for the purchase of a new car.

She confronted him, and he admitted to the theft, saying that he needed the money to repair his money problems. He begged her not to tell his wife.

He repaid a small portion, but said he couldn’t repay the rest. My mother was disappointed and angry, but seems to have forgiven him.

This news shook me to my core. I looked up to my older brother! I knew he wasn’t perfect, but I always felt he had integrity. I’m not religious, but he seemed to profess a real desire to live a good, “Christian” life.

It has been six months since I learned his secret. Although we have seen each other and communicated several times since, I have not brought it up.

I am hurt, angry and disillusioned, but at the same time I still love my brother. I am saddened.

How do I move on?

— Disappointed Younger Brother

Dear Disappointed:Let me point out the obvious: stealing money to purchase a new car is not “repairing money problems,” but creating them.

One way to move on is to be open about it now. Why are you protecting your brother from a natural consequence of his crime (i.e. your disillusionment and disappointment)? Is knowledge of his actions so dangerous to your own belief system that you must continue to stuff it down? I hope not. The path toward forgiveness runs right through the heart of his fallibility.

You and your siblings should have a family meeting (with your mother, and with or without your brother). Now that everyone knows about this theft, you should handle it as a family. If you don’t want to pursue this legally, you could deduct the amount stolen (plus interest) from any inheritance your brother might receive. Maybe his share will cover that amount. If not, he should pay the balance to his siblings. If he assumes responsibility, makes amends and asks for forgiveness, he should receive it. So far, he does not seem to have done his part.

Dear Amy:My daughter is a stay-at-home mother with an 8-month-old child.

She is a great mother, and I am very proud of her.

She and her husband allow their very large dog to “clean up” the high chair or walker after the baby has eaten, by licking it “clean.”

They think it’s cute. I think it’s disgusting. They do not otherwise clean the items for the next use.

I’m not a clean freak, but this is gross.

I will not allow this in my house (they haven’t yet brought the dog over).

I voiced my surprise and dismay the first time I witnessed this, and after sprayed the items with cleaner.

I have not said anything else about it. I understand it is their home and their rules.

Should I just continue to clean up the area after the dog is done, or should I say something else?

— Grandma

Dear Grandma: If this baby is sharing its home with a dog, that dog and baby have probably been licking each other on the face for several months.

I don’t think you should worry about this, but you definitely will, so, in the future, you could ask your daughter, “Honey, do you mind if I give this a wipe down?” Otherwise, keep your opinion to yourself.

Dear Amy: “Stressed in NY” was worried about moving his teen son to a new town after high school and before college. This teen should consider volunteering for AmeriCorps during his “gap” period.

— Volunteer

Dear Volunteer: Great suggestion. Interested applicants can go to nationalservice.gov.