Every Sunday, Kevin Cusick makes his predictions against the latest Las Vegas point spread, the way God intended …

Bills at Jets (+2½)

Aaron Rodgers says he resents allegations that he engineered the firing of coach Robert Saleh, calling such talk “patently false.” Of course, the Jets’ QB is quite familiar with things “patently false” from his days claiming he was “immunized” against COVID-19.

Pick: Bills by 3

Commanders at Ravens (-6½)

Disgruntled Las Vegas receiver Davante Adams raised eyebrows by posting on social media a portrait of famed poet Edgar Allen Poe. It’s not certain, though, whether Adams was indicating he wished to become a Raven or a Tell-Tale Heart.

Pick: Ravens by 3

Steelers at Raiders (+2½)

The NFL is investigating Pittsburgh’s George Pickens for wearing eyeblack with the profane message “always (expletive) open.” The league always acts swiftly and decisively when disciplining players … useless it involves domestic violence, drug use or 140 mph speeding.

Pick: Steelers by 3

Texans at Patriots (+6½)

New England’s Jabrill Peppers has been placed on the commissioner’s exempt list after being charged with domestic assault and drug possession. The accusations are so shocking and appalling that Diddy cut him from his fantasy team.

Pick: Texans by 7

Lions at Cowboys (+3½)

Detroit quarterback Jared Goff had a perfect night in the Lions’ last game, completing all 18 passes he attempted. But his many critics aren’t convinced, with Georgia Rep, Marjorie Taylor Greene accusing Goff of reaching that level of accuracy by using space lasers.

Pick: Lions by 8

Falcons at Panthers (+6½)

The Panthers fell to 1-4 last Sunday after getting routed in Chicago. The Bears looked so dominant that analysts now estimate they are only two more trades with Carolina away from winning a Super Bowl.

Pick: Falcons by 11

Bengals at Giants (+3½)

The once-flailing Giants pulled off a stunning upset in Seattle in Week 5. Their blocked kick for a touchdown on the game’s final play was so exciting that Elon Musk jumped up and down like a doofus for about 15 minutes.

Pick: Bengals by 7

Browns at Eagles (-8½)

Browns coach Kevin Stefanski insists he’s sticking with Deshaun Watson despite his lame efforts in the loss to Washington. The Cleveland quarterback had the most unwatchable performance of the month, according to folks who haven’t seen the “Joker” sequel.

Pick: Eagles by 7

Chargers at Broncos (+2½)

Denver coach Sean Payton had a heated exchange on the sideline with Bo Nix, saying his quarterback has “a little Ferris Bueller” in him. But the two eventually made up, so it will still be a couple weeks before Payton puts a bounty on him.

Pick: Chargers by 3

Buccaneers at Saints (+2½)

The Buccaneers left town early this week to avoid the wrath of Hurricane Milton. That was wise because, as their Week 5 loss in Atlanta shows, there are few things more defenseless than the Tampa Bay defense.

Pick: Buccaneers by 11

Other games

Cardinals at Packers (-4½):

Pick: Cardinals by 3

Jaguars vs. Bears (-2½):

Pick: Bears by 7

Colts at Titans (even):

Pick: Colts by 3

Bye week

Vikings, Dolphins, Chiefs, Rams

Record

Week 5

8-6 straight up

8-6 vs. spread

Season

46-32 straight up (.590)

42-36 vs. spread (.538)

All-time (2003-24)

3677-2052-14 straight up (.642)

2802-2797-144 vs. spread (.500)

You can hear Kevin Cusick on Wednesdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. You can follow Kevin on Twitter — @theloopnow. He can be reached at kcusick@pioneerpress.com.