Dear Abby >> I was raped by a family member and, due to special circumstances, told no one except one other family member, who I swore to secrecy. She recently got mad at me because of my religious beliefs, and now she’s saying if I pass away before she does, she’s going to tell my grown children who assaulted me.

I’m praying she said it out of anger, but I’m scared because I know my children would harm the rapist, if not kill him. What can I say or do to protect my secret?

— Fearful in the West

Dear Fearful >> When you told your relative about your rape, it was no longer a secret. Because you are now afraid she will tell your children, approach her by saying that if she follows through, you fear they will take revenge after he is released and, by doing so, ruin their own lives.

Dear Abby >> My husband has cancer, and the doctors say he has maybe a year left. Before his diagnosis, we had friends we would hang out with and go to dinner with once or twice a month. Now I don’t hear a word from them. They don’t call or text to ask how we are doing. Is it my responsibility to get ahold of them? I feel like I’m all alone in this fight, and they don’t seem to care.

— Invisible in Iowa

Dear Invisible >> What a sad letter. Please accept my sympathy for your husband’s prognosis. This is a tragic situation, and not one that you and your husband should be facing alone. The absence of these friends may have less to do with lack of caring than an overwhelming fear of cancer and an inability to face their own mortality.

Of course you can reach out to them. But after that, if they still can’t step up, you might have better luck by joining a cancer support group. If you do, you will find you are nowhere near as alone as you think you are.

Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.