Dear Abby >> My friend is married to a penny-pincher. They are retired and have sizable assets. He never buys her anything for her birthday or takes her out to dinner.

They each own their own homes and commute back and forth between them. When he comes to her house, she has her refrigerator stocked. When she goes to his, he has no food. She must go to the market and buy food for both of them. Then he gets angry in the market about spending money on food.

Because he’s so cheap, he goes to the local hospital and buys his dinner from the cafeteria there. They keep their finances separate, but she feels he should do SOMETHING for her for holidays and special occasions. She always does nice things for him, like treat him to sporting events, dinners, etc. If they go out with a group of people, he gets annoyed with splitting the bill.

At this point, his cheapness is affecting their marriage. Abby, can you suggest anything to change a cheapskate husband?

— Asking for a Friend

Dear Asking >> If your friend and her husband spent a reasonable amount of time together before they married, she must have known about his “quirk.” Because his penurity has become increasingly hard for her to live with, she must speak up. That their homes and financial assets have been kept separate may have been very wise.

Counseling might help — if he is willing to admit there is a problem. If she’s soliciting advice from you, suggest she become less generous and eat well before she arrives at his home. If his cupboard is bare, he, not she, should go to the store to fill it or even treat himself to dinner at the hospital cafeteria. Not every spouse needs gifts but, because she does and he chooses to ignore it, she may have to accept they are two very different people. While opposites can attract, in this case, apparently it isn’t true.

Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.