On a Saturday last fall, a Mexican American teenager in Corpus Christi, Texas, had everything planned out for a coming-of-age party. It would have custom-made jewelry, a string quartet to play pop songs and a group of high school freshmen in black tailcoat tuxedos to perform a dance.
This may sound like a classic quinceañera for a 15-year-old girl marking her transition to womanhood. But on that day, the spotlight was on Javier Calderon, a 15-year-old boy celebrating becoming a man.
Calderon is part of a growing number of young Latin American boys embracing the centuries- old tradition that until recently has been reserved for girls — a trend that represents one way that Latinos are adapting the custom in the United States.
“I wanted to show everyone what I wanted to be,” Calderon said. “I’m turning into a teenager.”
Some boys are asking their parents for a party of their own. Mothers without daughters are begging their sons to have a quinceañero, the name of the celebration for boys.
At times, the idea that a boy should have his own party has been contentious, especially for older Latinos who deeply value tradition.
Quinceañeras typically celebrate a girl’s entry into adulthood on her 15th birthday, with the term deriving from the Spanish word “quince,” which means 15. The parties tend to be elaborate and big, and can cost as much as a wedding.
Quinceañeros have been no exception — some parents are spending up to $70,000 to host them for their 15-year-old boys. And some see these parties as a way to push back against the socially conservative gender roles many Latinos grow up with.
Members from Texas families, who each recently held a quinceañero party, said they wanted to honor their boys transitioning to adulthood.
“It’s a celebration of becoming a man,” said Jose Garcia, Calderon’s grandfather. “The male should be celebrated as much as the female.”
At the beginning of his quinceañero, Calderon walked into the ballroom where the celebration was held in a purple tuxedo as the master of ceremonies introduced him as a prince. His guests were seated in tables with twinkling gold crowns as centerpieces. By the end of the night, Calderon sat on a throne in the center of the room and was ordained a king.
Despite the support from dozens of family members and friends, some decided not to attend Calderon’s party. His mother, Anna Garcia, said some had thought that this typically feminine celebration — often with poofy dresses and tiaras — was not appropriate for men.
“It comes with a stigma,” Garcia said. “They think he’s not manly. It reflects on his sexuality. In reality, it’s for both females and males. They’re both transitioning in life.”
Opening up the celebration to young men is just one of many ways in which quinceañeras have evolved since at least 2000. Latinos who moved to the United States wanted to continue the tradition, but the original purpose of the quinceañera — introducing a young woman into society to marry her off — was no longer a focus. And quinceañeras generally became more extravagant — something more akin to a Sweet 16 party.
Girls began to wear dresses in vivid colors instead of white. Banquet halls started marketing to Latino customers. Visuals have become a big focus in parties for social media purposes. And as young Latino Americans — like many other teens — developed more liberal views about gender equality and identity, the quinceañero was born.
The cowboy-themed party that Hermelindo Jaimes recently had in Lockhart sought to honor his Mexican American heritage. The token of his outfit — a bulky, silver belt buckle with a man praying on his knees alongside a horse — nodded to the ranch that his family owns.
For his 15th birthday, Jaimes said that he had first asked for a car, but that his mother persuaded him to have a quinceañero. “My mom said, ‘If you have a party, you can have friends and family from around the world,’ ” he said.
Although his celebration was advertised as a quinceañero in his animated digital invitation, he had his party on his 16th birthday instead of his 15th, following the Sweet 16 tradition.
The quinceañero was “a point of pride for us,” his mother, Laura Hernandez, said in Spanish. “We wanted to celebrate his life the same way as the girls.”
The change in tradition has led parents to think of creative ways to incorporate the customs that define a quinceañera party in a way that is more masculine for their sons.
Calderon towered over his mother for their first dance to a classical version of “Rockabye” by Clean Bandit. He shocked his guests when the braids he grew since he was in elementary school were trimmed into a short haircut at the venue.
At Anthony Valdez’s party in Joshua, where more than 100 guests attended, he was given a remote-controlled car for his last toy. He made his grand entrance into the ballroom playing the tuba, with a professional Mexican band accompanying him.
This is the experience that his mother, Brenda Sanchez, envisioned when she pleaded with her son to have a big quinceañero instead of a smaller backyard party.
“It’s always been hard for me to come out of my shell,” Valdez said. “It was a big surprise to me when my mom first brought it up. She really, really wanted to have this, and I realized how much it meant to her.”
Sanchez had postponed her own dream of having a quinceañera party for decades, as her parents couldn’t afford one for her. After she had three sons, she thought her hopes were dashed. Then, as her oldest son was about to turn 15, she realized she could throw him a quinceañero.
“I wanted this experience with him,” she said.