I was late driving to pick my friends up for a concert a few nights ago, and it led to a life-changing epiphany.

See, I’m the sort of person who usually arrives on time to things — in fact when it’s a work event, I always strive to arrive early.

As in, “If you’re on time, you’re late. If you’re early, you’re on time.”

But I’m not perfect, and this particular night, I didn’t even have an excuse to be late, because I started getting ready early.

I was standing in my bathroom, trying to make the agonizing decision of which color of lipstick to wear, when I looked at the clock.

Yikes! It had somehow mysteriously jumped ahead by 20 minutes. So now I was going to be late picking up not one but two sets of friends.

Everyone knows someone who’s perennially late and you usually just start planning around it. To avoid frustration, I now tell one particularly good friend that any event starts an hour earlier than it really does, so we can get there on time.

But if someone’s on time sometimes, and sometimes late, it makes it hard to know how to plan. Do you have time to make a pitcher of iced tea? Or should you be standing in the front yard, waiting for them to pull up?

It’s so much easier now with mobile phones, of course, because you can get updates.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can, the traffic is heavy,” one friend used to message me half an hour after we were supposed to get together, even though the traffic is always heavy from her house.

Apparently it never occurred to her to leave earlier to compensate for it.

But, again, since I knew she’d always be late, I knew I had time to go out back and water the plants.

But I could never really understand why I would end up being late on the days when I started getting ready so early.

Especially because I’m a very low-maintenance gal.

I seldom wear any makeup except lipstick, my hair is done when I’ve run a comb through it, and my clothes tend more toward comfort and ease of use than style.

If necessary, I can be ready for the Apocalypse, a hike in Joshua Tree, a night at the opera or dinner at the White House within five minutes’ time.

But here’s my epiphany: I realize I’m always late when I start getting ready too early. With no sense of haste, I dawdle over every task.

Hmm, should I wear my shawl or my sweater? Do I need a sweater at all? Well, it never hurts to bring one.

The classic mother’s motto: Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

I think I’ll grab a Pellegrino water out of the fridge in case I get thirsty.

Oh, wait. I didn’t feed the cat yet. Where is he? Stupid cat.

Why can’t he be waiting patiently for his dinner, like the dog?

Speaking of which, I haven’t fed the dog either. Well, they’ll just have to wait until I get home.

Maybe I should wear my watch.

But where did I leave it?

Oh. I just remembered. I left some chicken in the Instant Pot.

I need to put it in Tupperware and in the fridge before it spoils.

Well, here’s the Tupperware, but where’s the lid?

Why is that stupid lid always missing?

Why do I have 437 lids but none of them fit anything?

I don’t have time now to find it. I’ll just cover it with aluminum foil. Hmm, maybe I should bring some snacks to share for intermission. Let’s see what I have in the cupboard.

HOLY CRAPOLA! I just looked at the clock.

How did that happen? I’m supposed to be there right now!

And so now I’m late! I’ll run into my room, put on my shoes and grab my purse.

But, wait! Where’s my phone? I can’t go without my phone?

Where’s my son? He can call my phone for me.

Maybe it fell down underneath my chair.

But it’s dark down there. I’d better turn on my flashlight and look for it.

Hmm, still can’t find it, even with the flashlight. Oh. Wait. I’m using the flashlight on my phone to look for my phone. That’s embarrassing. Luckily, no one’s here to see.

Now, I know not to start getting ready too early. It will make me late.