Dear Eric >> Can you offer any advice about a good friend who lets her dog jump in my pool? I have an inground vinyl liner pool so one concern is the dog could damage the liner with its nails or teeth. And my friend does not have the funds to replace the liner if it were damaged, nor would she probably offer.

Her dog chewed apart one of my pool floats that cost $200, and it was never replaced.

Also, when the dog is in the pool it slightly freaks out and tries to jump on me and bites. And when it’s out of the pool it runs through my gardens and digs. It would seem like it’s a no-brainer: no dog in the pool. But my friend thinks it’s hysterical, and she’s such a good friend I don’t want to hurt her feelings.

She and her husband are those people who think their dog is the best thing in the world and why wouldn’t anyone love everything their dog does? I know I should just say no dog, but a precedent has been set, and she has already asked when the pool is opening.

— No Doggy Paddling

Dear Paddling >> Your pool, your rules. The start of a new pool season is a good opportunity to set a new precedent. You can cite the chewed pool float; you can cite the jumping and biting; you can simply say that it’s not something you’re comfortable with anymore. But as would be the case with any human in your pool, you have the right and the responsibility to determine what’s safe and comfortable.

Have this conversation in advance. And don’t put it up for debate. “I love your dog, but I don’t want to have dogs in the pool or in my garden. I’m concerned about the vinyl liner tearing and I’d like to keep my gardens intact. I love hanging out with you and I hope you understand.”

Now, she may receive this as you banning the dog, but that’s not the case. This is you communicating what you need to feel safe and to ensure everyone else’s safety and enjoyment. If she pushes back, refocus her on that point.

Dear Eric >> Here’s an idea for the letter writer, “No Lifeguard on Duty,” regarding friends inviting themselves over to use their pool. When growing up in Monrovia, California, our next-door neighbor had a pool, which we could see over our fence. We longed to be in it. Our neighbor had a system whereby she would put out a white flag on a pole, indicating that all in the neighborhood were welcome to come use the pool. Children had to have a parent with them. All of our neighbors were friends, so there was lots of socializing going on those afternoons. It was unspoken that you brought your own towel, water or drinks and used the bathroom prior to coming to the pool. We kids LOVED “White Flag Day,” and it solved the problem of people asking if they could come to use the pool.

— Thankful for a Generous Neighbor

Dear Thankful >> I love this suggestion! It was a very popular one! It seems that the readership of this column is chock full of people who have Pool Flag Neighbors. Having never lived in an area with pools, this is very interesting. I’ll be sure to look out for those flags, too, this Fourth of July.

Other readers pointed out the liability pool owners assume and cautioned that the owners should think twice (at least) before letting friends use it when the owners weren’t home. The risk involved could serve as a good way of politely declining requests.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com