ROME >> An introspective Pope Francis has divulged some of the behind-the-scenes dynamics of the secret 2013 conclave that elected the then-Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio of Argentina as pope and the resistance he has encountered ever since, in his autobiography released Tuesday, that also addresses some of his more controversial decisions as pontiff.

“Hope: The Autobiography” was only supposed to be published after Francis’ death. But at his own request, the book is out now in more than 80 countries to coincide with the start of the church’s Holy Year.

Its publishers say it’s the first autobiography ever written by a sitting pope, though Francis has collaborated with plenty of other memoir-type books before, and much of his papacy and personal backstory are already well known.

But “Hope” does provide personal insights into how history’s first Latin American pope interprets his childhood in Buenos Aires and how it has informed his priorities as pope. Drawn from conversations over six years with Italian journalist Carlo Musso, “Hope” offers Francis’ own sometimes unflattering assessments of decisions he made or things he regrets — at least before he became pope.

Self reflection

It’s almost confessional at times, an 88-year-old Jesuit performing the Ignatian examination of his conscience at the end of his life to identify things he said or did that he now realizes could have been done better. Whether it’s the time when he insisted that a schoolmate pay to repair a bike he had broken, or knocked another schoolmate nearly unconscious, he seems deeply ashamed of his younger self and says he still doesn’t believe himself worthy of the papacy.

“If I consider what is the greatest gift that I desire from the Lord, and have experienced, it is the gift of shame,” he writes at one point.

Curiously, two periods of Bergoglio’s past which have remained somewhat mysterious to outsiders are once again avoided in “Hope.” One concerns his stint in Córdoba, Argentina, from 1990-1992. Francis has never really explained the internal Jesuit dynamics that resulted in him being exiled to work as a confessor at the Jesuit church more than a decade after he was provincial of the order in Argentina. The period is mentioned only in passing, referred to simply as “the dark night at Córdoba.”

The other period of unknown in Bergoglio’s backstory concerns the time he spent in Germany doing research on the theologian Romano Guardini for a dissertation he never finished.

Also given short shrift was the impact of the clergy sexual abuse scandal, which convulsed his papacy for several years. The scandal exploded during Francis’ 2018 trip to Chile and the pope mentions the scandal briefly in the book. But he spends far more time recalling a more heart-warming memory from the Chile trip, when he married a pair of flight attendants on board the papal plane during the flight to Iquique.

Focus on papacy

The second half of the book, focusing on the papacy, is far less self-critical and in fact is strident in defending his sometimes controversial decisions. It is here that Francis provides further details of his emotions as the votes started going his way on the second day of balloting during the March 2013 conclave that elected him pope.

The fifth ballot — the one that made him pope — actually had to be done twice.

“When my name was pronounced for the seventy-seventh time, there was a burst of applause, while the reading of the votes went on,” he writes. “I don’t know exactly how many votes there were in the end, I was no longer listening, the noise covered the voice of the scrutineer.”

Blasting tradition

Those looking for current Vatican gossip in “Hope” will be somewhat disappointed, as Francis only fleetingly touches on the more controversial parts of his papacy. He is far more certain of his decisions made as pope, even doubling down on blasting traditionalist Catholic priests as rigid and mentally unstable.

He also writes that the reform of the Vatican bureaucracy, particularly the effort to impose international accounting and budgeting standards on its finances, have been the most difficult task of his papacy.