Dear Eric >> My former best friend and longtime housemate is a serial monogamist and cannot go a couple weeks without being in a long-term relationship, usually having no more than two to three weeks in between very serious relationships.

This friend disappears fully into relationships with people who aren’t good to him, and it’s impossible to get him to respond to invitations to hang out.

After months of initiating plans, and rarely hearing back, I decided to take a step back from it due to incredible initiation fatigue.

He will occasionally call me and say he misses me and wants to grab lunch. When we do that, it’s so one-sided; he vents about his terrible relationship du jour, and then the check comes, and I haven’t said a word.

I miss my friend. I think I deserve better. I think his bad communication style mixed with his unhealthy relationship patterns are absolutely intertwined and really impossible to break.

Do I cut my losses, and just decline the lunch invitation that will come in five months, and be grateful to the universe for giving me this friend for my past? Or should I try to navigate the “I miss you, I’m worried about you, please want better for yourself, and please stop ignoring all your friends” conversation? Help!

— Ignored Friend

Dear Friend >> Your friend is clearly working through something — an insecurity, a feeling of instability — that keeps leading him away from healthy friendships and into the arms of people the singing group TLC might describe as “scrubs.” Or worse.

Sometimes it takes a trusted friend to wake us up to unhealthy patterns of behavior. So don’t be afraid to have a heart-to-heart with him about it.

You could even interrupt his monologue at your next lunch and tell him, “I’ve noticed this pattern. Have you noticed it, too? Are you worried about it?”

This is also a great time to bring up another relationship that needs a health checkup — yours and his. Friendship is a two-way street. If you don’t feel valued or even considered, tell him what you need and ask him what he needs/wants from this friendship. It’s very likely that, just as he lacks good models for healthy love relationships, he’s still working on how to be a good friend.

It’s OK to call him on this. But you don’t have to be a doormat. If he’s not willing to work with you to improve your relationship, it may be time to take an official break until he’s in a better place.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com