DDear Amy >> My mother gave me, through a reputable financial institution, a significant sum of money.

For two years after giving me this money she would refer to it as “the money I gave you.”

She has an ample monthly income from several sources, but gambles at casinos and gives money away to family, but denies both.

I know this because she had shown me her bank statements.

I have consulted attorneys and they say she is mentally incompetent.

Now she wants the money back.

I will not give the money back, but agreed to assist her financially if she gives me access to her financials.

I try to keep the lines of communication open, but she only wants to accuse me of “taking her money,” has threatened to sue me, threatened to “hurt” me, and cursed at me.

Do I continue to reach out to her or wait until she chooses to contact me?

— Mom, Money, Madness

Dear Madness >> I’m not sure how any attorney can judge your mother to be mentally incompetent without meeting her or viewing a report from a qualified source.

Given the circumstances you cite, these funds might be safer in your control than in your mother’s. Don’t give the money back, but continue to assure her that you will help if she demonstrates a need.

Yes, I think you should continue to contact her to keep in touch. Stay calm, and if her paranoia continues, do your best to get her the help she might need.

Contact Amy Dickinson via email, askamy@amydickinson.com.