Man tired of strong-arm tactics at the dental office

ASKING ERIC

Dear Eric >> I will be 74 years old in a few months. I have invested many thousands of dollars in my oral health. Nonetheless, I’m once again spending thousands more dollars to replace two crowns and install a replacement front tooth.

My dentist is now insisting that I replace three more crowns that have not yet failed, citing decay underneath (despite deep and regular cleanings). Those additional three teeth are not causing any problems, pain or discomfort.

His hygienist is also insisting on four yearly cleanings instead of two. Both of these professionals are putting me on their schedules without my input or permission.

I’m trying to figure out a way to cancel all these appointments. I have no desire (nor the financial means) to continue spending so much of my later years suffering in a dentist’s chair. Also, I have no desire to participate in arguments with them.

I will give the dentist and the hygienist the benefit of the doubt and assume they are perfectionists who want me to have perfect teeth. But unless and until these teeth give me trouble, I’m done. How can I convey my wishes without causing any ill will?

— Dental Dilemma

Dear Dental >> I’m sorry you’ve had so much trouble with your dental care. Having to haggle with your providers is the last thing you need. Especially since it’s so hard to debate when that little dental suction tube is in. And also, because you shouldn’t have to advocate this hard for what you want.

Now, your dental care provider can make appointments for you — though they shouldn’t without your permission. But they can’t come to your house and force you to go. So, the easiest way to cancel is to call the office and tell the receptionist that you need to remove all future bookings. This is just business. While your dentist may want the best for you, if they’re making it personal or forcing you to debate care that’s outside your means, they’re stepping out of bounds.

Moreover, if any healthcare practitioner isn’t listening to you or hearing what you’re saying, how can they give you the best care?

It’s fine to move on from this practice.

“No” is a complete sentence and sometimes it’s all that needs to be said. If they take it personally or refuse to accept the no, that’s a sign that they don’t have your best interest at heart and any ill will is their fault, not yours.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com