Q My ex-husband and I finalized our divorce last year. When I contacted the attorney we had used for the past two decades, he said he could not help me update my will because he has a conflict. He said he is working for my ex now and can’t work with me. I guess I should have contacted the attorney sooner because now I am shut out. I had no idea that the attorney would not be able to continue working for me, he was great. Maybe you should warn your readers about this problem.

A It is difficult to lose a decades long relationship with a trusted advisor. It is true, however, that most attorneys will “conflict out” in this kind of situation but something else in your question raised a red flag for me. Why did you wait so long after your divorce was finalized to update your estate plan? Updating your will and other estate planning documents should be one of our first priorities after ending a marriage. It is a difficult time, surely, but it does need to be done in a timely manner. Otherwise, bad things can happen.

When we divorce, many very important things change, and these changes need to be addressed from a legal perspective. For instance, our Advance Health Care Directive must be updated. Most of us name our spouse as the first person to be contacted if we are hospitalized and they are the ones who would have the right to talk with our doctors or provide information about our healthcare wishes. They are also the ones who can “pull the plug” if that kind of situation should arise. Depending on the level of animosity in the divorce, this could be a very bad thing, indeed.

Also, we need to revoke any power of attorney for finances documents that had appointed an ex as our attorney in fact. Unless it is revoked, the power of attorney continues to be in effect, and we do not want an ex to have the authority to access financial assets. Finally, after a divorce, our overall balance sheet of assets has most likely changed due to the divorce, so our estate planning must be updated.

Once a divorce is finalized there are several other things that should be timely addressed. If our ex, for example, is the named beneficiary in a life insurance policy or the designated beneficiary of our IRA or 401(k), depending on the final dissolution agreement reached, these will, most likely, need to be updated. Additionally, any accounts that were held in joint tenancy with an ex-spouse need to be changed and any loan guarantees that may have been entered into jointly should be considered. Finally, check on car titles and make sure the title is correct.

If you loved and trusted your attorney, ask him for a referral to a trusted colleague. At least this way you will have some comfort entering a new legal relationship with your new estate planning attorney.

Q: I recently went through a divorce and my husband was awarded spousal support. When I told my attorney that I just couldn’t stand the thought of writing a check each month or even seeing the funds regularly leaving my bank account, she made a wonderful recommendation which is right up your alley! She established an irrevocable trust, and I put enough in the trust to pay him monthly for his expected lifetime. The funds will be invested and, should he die before all the funds are given to him, whatever is left goes to our children. This saves me the monthly anguish of thinking of him, and he was also onboard with the arrangement. Win-win!

A: You had a smart and creative divorce attorney! Well done.

Liza Horvath has over 30 years of experience in the estate planning and trust fields and is the president of Monterey Trust Management, a financial and trust management company. This is not intended to be legal or tax advice. If you have a question call (831) 646-5262 or email liza@montereytrust.com