Dear Abby >> I need advice about a new relationship. I am a 60-year-old man. I divorced last year and met a nice woman named “Eileen” shortly afterward, and things seemed to be going well. When my ex found out I was seeing Eileen (they didn’t know each other) she decided to call Eileen and try to cause issues by saying many things that are not true. She succeeded.

I tried to save my marriage but was unsuccessful and was trying to move on and be happy again. There was no abuse or anything like that, but my ex said I didn’t fulfill her needs well enough, so she moved on. I now feel Eileen doesn’t fully trust me even though she still sees me.

I want to have an open and honest relationship because I care for Eileen enough that someday in the future, I may want to make her my wife. How can I earn back the trust that was lost and get our relationship back on track? Things have definitely taken a big step backward, and I’m disappointed and saddened.

— Nervous in New Hampshire

Dear Nervous >> You have done nothing wrong and shouldn’t need to “earn back” Eileen’s trust. Have a face-to-face talk with Eileen. Tell her you care very much about her, but since your bitter ex-wife felt the need to have a woman-to-woman chat with her, you sense things may have changed between you. Ask if that’s true, and if it is, ask why. She needs to hear your side of the story to counteract what your ex said. However, if, indeed, she no longer trusts you, you may need to find another lady friend.

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