Dear Amy >> I’m at an age when many people retire.

Unfortunately, I’m not able to do that. All the same, I’m trying to plan ahead. My financial adviser wants to include in the planning any possible inheritance I may get when my remaining parent dies.

I don’t feel I can ask my 90-year-old mother how much she’s leaving me! That’s just crass.

Do other people actually get this information in advance?

I understand why it would be helpful to have, but I don’t know how to handle this.

I’d appreciate your advice.

— Nonplussed Daughter

Dear Nonplussed >> Yes, some people receive very detailed information about their parents’ estates, and this can be very helpful.

If you are your mother’s only child, it would be a good idea for her to inform you about her plans, in at least general terms.

You could ask her, “Mom, do you have a will drawn up? Do you have an executor who has access to all the documents? My financial adviser has suggested that it would be a good idea for me to know at least the basics of your estate planning.”

Dear Amy >> Your snarky response to “No Gaslight” about families lying to their children about the existence of Santa Claus made me mad.

I don’t mean to disrespect you, but I have to point out that your opinions aren’t valid because your opinions are just based on your personal beliefs.

— Observer

Dear Observer >> No disrespect taken. Because what you describe is actually the very definition of an opinion.

Contact Amy Dickinson via email, askamy@amydickinson.com.