Dear Readers: I originally published this column in 2017. A similar question was just received so I am running this column again. Enjoy!

Q A good friend who lives a couple states away has asked me to be her executor and health care agent. They have a house, pets and, most likely, investments and bank accounts. What happens when I am “needed”? I have a family and commitments here. Would I be able to handle something like this without having to be there for long periods of time?

A Well, it depends. If you are named as your friend’s health care agent, you will be contacted should your friend reach a point where she is unable to speak for herself with regard to her medical needs and wishes. While it might be possible to handle a few phone calls from a distance, she would be looking to you to assess her health emergency, speak with her doctors to determine the best course of action, weigh those actions against her stated wishes and confirm that the actions that you ultimately direct are, in fact, executed. As you can see, these obligations may make it necessary for you be there. You might be needed for just a few days or, in a serious situation that involves a hospital stay, followed by rehabilitation and possibly a change of living circumstances, may require weeks or more of your time.

Being an executor definitely means being there — at least initially. When someone passes away, arrangements need to be made for final services, an obituary and possibly a life celebration. Pets will need to be re-homed or plans made for them to come live with you. Your friend’s home needs to be secured, personal property inventoried and either distributed to beneficiaries or sold. Finally, the house is usually sold.

I am not dissuading you from helping your friend, but if you have a family and other commitments in your own state, traveling to another state to help could impose a significant burden. Many of us, when named as an executor by a friend, feel the need to agree. After all, it is an important position and being appointed can feel like an honor. I applaud you, however, for considering the practicalities of the situation.

If you do end up accepting the position, contact your friend’s estate planning attorney to see if, when the time comes, they can help with some of the “hands-on” work that will need to be done. Many law firms are equipped to take care of the things that must be addressed in person and can also attend to the legal steps that need to be taken to close out your friend’s estate. Unfortunately, if you accept appointment as her agent for health care, there are few substitutes for your presence and you would, most likely, need to go to her.

An option that you could recommend to your friend is to use a private or licensed professional fiduciary. In 2006, California instituted the licensing and regulation of professional trustees and executors and many other states have similar professional licensing organizations. If your friend is concerned that a professional will feel like a “stranger,” you could offer to oversee the services of the professional. This way your friend gets the best of both worlds — a professional with “boots on the street,” so to speak and you, her treasured friend making sure all the best care is given to the situation.

Liza Horvath has over 30 years of experience in the estate planning and trust fields and is the president of Monterey Trust Management, a financial and trust management company. This is not intended to be legal or tax advice. If you have a question call (831)646-5262 or email liza@montereytrust.com