Dear Abby >> I’ve been divorced for 13 years and have been dating “Paul” for the last five years. Paul is kind, helps with things around the house and loves my friends and family. We share many common interests and enjoy being together. We are now considering moving to the next step: marriage. We already live together.

The problem is that Paul is not financially responsible. He helps pay the bills, and we alternate picking up the tab when we go out. I earn more than he does, which is no big deal, but I do not have retirement set up or great insurance. If we were married, it would help my insurance problems. The house and assets are in my name.

Part of the reason for my divorce was my ex’s inability to manage money, which got us into a world of debt. I don’t want to go through that again. I’d love to marry Paul but do not want to take on his financial debt. What’s the right decision to make?

— Stuck On This in Wisconsin

Dear Stuck >> The right thing for you to do would be to discuss this with an attorney who can help you figure out if you really want to be legally married to Paul. Marrying someone to get on his insurance is not the right way to go. Talking with an insurance agent about a program for which you might be eligible would be not only enlightening, but also advantageous.

Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.