The Rev. Shannon Blosser sees how his son loves church — the music, the singing, the communion. But the United Methodist pastor said his family hasn’t always felt like 11-year-old Noah, who is autistic, has been welcome.

At one point, Blosser’s wife and the couple’s two sons stopped attending in-person services at a church where he served. “If we felt more supported, we probably would have pushed through.”

Many people with disabilities, advocates and families want more religious congregations to know that there are ways to be accommodating and inclusive of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities this holiday season — and year round — and to fully embrace them and their families.

“They just have to have the willingness to be the church that sees the image of God in every child and every adult,” said Blosser, who now serves two small West Virginia congregations that have been supportive of his family’s needs.

Mount Olivet United Methodist Church, one of the congregations, is hosting a “Calm Christmas,” a sensory-friendly celebration and worship, where music will come from a guitar, rather than a piano, and candles will be swapped for glow sticks to avoid any dangers. There are fidget toys and a “visual schedule” to help those needing images and graphics to better process the sequence of events.

Blosser’s message to attendees? Be you.

“Families like mine who feel overwhelmed with just the lights and the cameras and the pomp and circumstance of Christmas Eve, they can come in and be themselves,” he said. “If you need to run around and do laps, ... do it. This is a place for you to be you so you can experience God’s love.”

He hopes it could be the start of something more regular, like a quarterly or monthly service.

Linda Bunk, who was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, a former name for one form of autism, said it’s important to work on not just facilitating accessibility at churches but also fostering belonging.

For instance, ask someone with Down syndrome if they’d like to be on the welcome team or if they sing or play the guitar, suggested Bunk who’s a photographer and has served on Christian mission trips, including to Ukraine.

“Let them serve at their ability,” she said. “God blessed them with all kinds of talents and if we don’t ask them or welcome them, we’ll never know what they can do.”

Bunk, who has bipolar disorder and lives in Virginia, said she especially likes seeing people with disabilities worshipping with the full congregation, rather than separately.

“Why can’t we have that all together ... and having fun, dancing, singing, eating food,” she said. “It breaks down those barriers of ‘disabilities are scary.’ ”

Blosser said people with disabilities must be part of planning about inclusion to offer guidance and flag mistakes.

He also encourages congregations to follow the Golden Rule: “What would you want done?” he said. “For most of us, we would want understanding; we would want compassion.”

David Mandell, psychiatry professor and director of the Penn Center for Mental Health at the University of Pennsylvania, urged leaders to make their houses of worship hospitable from the moment members enter the door, considering such things as how greeters are trained. The message that all are welcome, he said, also should come from the pulpit.

Other things to consider, he said: Is there a quiet, sensory-friendly room that families can go to when needed and still follow the service remotely? Who in the congregation can volunteer to support families’ needs?

Many families “are not going to come back for the High Holy Days or for Christmas and Easter or for Eid if they feel like their child is not welcome” on a regular basis, he said.

Challenges are not uncommon in religious schools, said Mandell, who worked with his synagogue to train teachers there.

In Wisconsin, Kathleen Krueger said attending church with her daughter, who has cognitive disabilities and autism, was at times very challenging, especially when she was younger. When her daughter had an outburst, people would stare, she said.

That would leave Krueger feeling “very, very sad” for her daughter and “also bad for us because nobody wants to stand out in a negative way.”

The family kept attending services, but she realized that other families dealing with disabilities weren’t doing so.

Krueger led an effort to start a special needs ministry at Mt. Zion Lutheran Church, now part of New Life Lutheran Church in Kenosha.

Recently, the ministry held a Christmas celebration featuring such things as cookie decorating, crafts, music, a puppet show and a short service. Krueger wanted attendees to enjoy and “really feel the love of Jesus.” Participants celebrated the ministry’s 20th anniversary.

Krueger recommends faith leaders ask people with disabilities and their families how they can better serve them.

As a mother, she said, she appreciated when members would ask her about her daughter’s challenges.

“Everybody appreciates a friendly, loving face to welcome them.”