Dear Abby >> I have spent 40 years serving the public and my country, putting other people first and feeling guilty if I didn’t. However, I am becoming resentful of the demands for my time.

I’m retired, and my husband still works. We have always split the expenses 50-50, even though I make less than 40% of his income. Once I retired, my share of the household chores and errands increased from 75% to 90%. I wanted to make life easier for my husband, but now he expects me to run personal errands for him, too. All the wear and tear and gas usage is borne by my car, which is considerably older than his.

I have a friend and walking partner who has been having different issues she needs help with. She has always talked about the close friends she has known for decades and sees regularly. They all live about 20 minutes away and are retired, in good health and able to drive. I offered her my help in the past, but now she and her friends think I should be her go-to person since I live closer to her than they do.

I have my own schedule and routine now. I like having some days free to do what I feel like and not have to fulfill demands from others. How do I let people know MY time is valuable and discourage them from expecting me to help them?

— Too Nice and Helpful

Dear Too nice >> It is not a crime to tell someone you don’t have time to do what they want you to do. It’s time to sign up for some assertiveness training so you can learn how to say no. (No, I’m not kidding.) If you do as I suggest, it might even improve your marriage. Your doctor or health insurance company can refer you to someone qualified.

Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.