Feedback can be a painful truth in the workplace. Whether it’s from a customer or a co-worker, feedback can often feel like an irritant.

But that gut-punch feedback is really a gift, says Nebraska-based workplace consultant Jason Lauritsen, who authors a weekly check-in e-newsletter on workplace issues.

“Years ago, during a talent review process, my boss handed me what I now call my YOU SUCK List,” Lauristen recently wrote. “It was a roundup of critical feedback from her and a few senior leaders about what I’d need to change to be considered for a promotion.

“It felt brutal. Like a list of all the ways I was failing — compiled by the very people who had a say in my future.

“But that list changed my career. What felt like criticism was actually a roadmap. These were real barriers — just ones I couldn’t see on my own. Once I could see them, I could address them.”

Lauritsen also points out our first reaction to critical feedback is usually wrong.

“Our brains are wired to protect us, so when we feel attacked (even by feedback), we defend,” he said. “We deflect. We shut down.

“When I got that list, I didn’t say thank you. I got angry and defiant. It took me weeks to even look at the feedback again, and even longer to put it to use.”

Saying “thank you for sharing that” creates space between your reaction and your response. “It buys you time to get curious instead of combative,” he says.

Lauritsen offers three choices you can make when you get unexpected or uncomfortable feedback:

1. Ignore it. “You can hear feedback, thank the person, and then decide not to act on it. But — there’s a catch. If the feedback is pointing out something that’s getting in your way, ignoring it won’t help you move forward.”

2. Investigate it. “Feedback from others is always filtered though their lens. Research shows that over 50 percent of our evaluations of others reflect more about the evaluator than the evaluated. So take it seriously — but not personally.”

3. Embrace it. “Remember when we were in school and the teacher corrected our work? That feedback wasn’t personal — it was meant to help us learn.”

Regular, helpful feedback is essential for employee growth, performance, and engagement. When employees consistently receive clear, constructive input, they gain a better understanding of their strengths and areas for improvement, empowering them to develop their skills and contribute more effectively.

Ongoing feedback also fosters open communication and shows that managers are invested in their team’s success.

Energage urges employers to use employee survey results, comments, and other feedback to identify gaps in learning opportunities and to improve existing programs.

Feedback helps employees improve and feel valued for the skills they’ve developed. Ensure managers provide regular feedback about employees’ work, including strengths and areas for growth, especially those relevant to current or desired roles.

Over time, this kind of supportive feedback culture builds confidence, accountability, and continuous improvement across the organization.

Bob Helbig is media partnerships director at Energage, a Philadelphia-based employee survey firm. Energage is The Denver Post’s survey partner for Top Workplaces. To nominate your company as a Top Workplace, go to denverpost.com/nominate.