Dear Eric >> My brother is 22 years old and has always had a girlfriend, though none of the relationships have ever lasted. His previous girlfriends have been controlling and possessive, to the point that he breaks up with them.

His current girlfriend seems to be the same way, but he is head over heels for her. Not only is she possessive and wants him to spend all his time with her, but it appears that she is a pathological liar. She has lied to him, my family and other people we know, then gets defensive when caught in the lies. She also tells my family about her troubled childhood and family life with stories that seem extremely far-fetched.

They are spending more and more time together, to the point that he never does anything with his friends or family and when he does, she gets upset with him and gaslights him or cries. I love my brother, and I trust his judgment, but I am extremely worried about his relationship becoming abusive. They’ve only been together for two months and she’s already calling him “hubby” and he bought her a ring.

Perhaps I’m having flashbacks of my own past abusive relationship, but I can’t help but worry for him. My parents are concerned as well.

Should I bring up my concerns to him or just let it play out? He is an adult, so I don’t want to try and interfere at all, as I don’t think it’s my place to do so.

— Concerned Older Brother

Dear Brother >> Respectfully, though you say you trust your brother’s judgment, I don’t think that’s actually the case. And that’s fine — he’s 22 and he has a track record of making questionable relationship decisions. It’s OK to have doubts.

And it’s OK to communicate your concerns to him in a way that’s rooted in love. So, please talk to him.

He may not see the issues that you do, or he may be glossing them over. Hearing the perspective of a loved one could open his eyes more. Failing that, at least your conversation can remind him that he’s got others to depend on.

Respect his ability to make his own decisions and try, as best you can, to separate what has happened to you from what’s happening in his life. But do talk to him, adult to adult. We could all use a caring opinion sometimes.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com