“I just want to stop feeling stressed, so that I can focus and be more productive,” my client, Stan, sighed in our first session. “The noise in my head makes everything take longer, which only stresses me out more. Everyone else seems fine. What’s wrong with me?”

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

We live in a culture that glorifies productivity, hustle and busyness while simultaneously expecting us to appear calm and collected, despite increasingly thin margins for rest. No wonder our relationship with stress feels complicated.

Like Stan, many of us assume some part of us is broken when we feel chronically stressed. Instead of questioning the demands on our plate or societal expectations, our default is to “fix ourselves” so we can push through. Keep going. Do more.

But what if your stress isn’t a problem to solve? What if it’s actually information?

The truth is that our stress levels serve as important signals, indicating to us when demands on our time and energy exceed our available capacity.

This relationship between stress and performance isn’t just intuitive; it’s well-established in psychology through the Yerkes-Dodson curve.

When we slow down and consider the impact stress in our lives, it becomes apparent that certain levels of stress are helpful and sometimes even necessary. Too little stress leaves us underperforming — bored, unmotivated, disengaged. Yet, too much stress hijacks our cognitive function and decision-making abilities.

I love being in a role where I am challenged yet supported. Where it’s necessary for me to stretch beyond my comfort zone, but I have the time, guidance and bandwidth to be successful. On a stress scale of 1-10, I find myself thriving in a range of 3-6.Understanding your own optimal stress sweet can help you manage your capacity effectively. Your body’s stress signals aren’t trying to sabotage you; they’re your personal barometer, helping you find that sweet spot where you’re appropriately challenged but not overwhelmed.

Once we reframe stress as information rather than a personal failing, we can take stock of what’s in our control.

As Stan discussed the demands at work, at home and in the world, he started to more clearly understand his stress responses. “I guess there really is a lot going on right now,” he said. “I never really stopped to say it all out loud. No wonder my stress is high. So … what do I do now?”

We began with an energy inventory, getting clear on what parts of his life were draining and which were energizing. He started exploring questions like: What resources are being stretched too thin? Where do I need more support or boundaries? What might need to be eliminated or delegated for now? How can carve out a little more time for what energizes me or helps me refuel?

While stress-reduction techniques can help soothe our immediate stress response, lasting change only happens when we listen to the message behind our stress to make big or small adjustments that will help to realign the demands in our life with our finite resources of time, energy and attention.

Next time you’re noticing your stress level on high, remember that this isn’t something wrong with you personally.

Rather, it is important information about what’s happening in your life and the resources and capacity available to you. When we slow down to notice the root cause, we can get more clear about what might help us get back into balance.

How is your stress level? What might be supportive for you to let go of or delegate for now? What energizing activities might you increase to move in the direction you want?

I aim to provide compassionate and practical guidance. Submit below if you’d like my perspective on your question or circumstance in a future column.

Tiffany Skidmore is a mental health and life coach who specializes in life transitions and anxiety. Email your questions and feedback to tiffanyskidmore.com">tiffany@tiffanyskidmore.com or submit them anonymously at tinyurl.com/thelifecoach. Visit tiffanyskidmore.com to learn more.