Q.I don’t like social media much. But I use one of my guy friend’s Instagram accounts to see what’s on there sometimes. Whenever I do, I see someone he has a connection to, who I really like. Really, I don’t know much about him, but I have this thing where I develop crushes on people and they wind up being all I want. Based on what I see of this guy on Instagram, I think we would be perfect together.

It’s not even that he’s cute, it’s more about what he posts and what my mutual friends tell me about him. I guess I kind of fell for his personality without actually meeting or talking to him.

There’s some distance between us (hours), but I know he comes to my town to visit his family. Should I pursue this and reach out to him based on his Instagram . . . or just leave it alone because this is all in my head? – Insta

A. If the options are: A) keep on analyzing everything you see about this person on Instagram; or B) contact him to get to know him in real life, I’d go for B. There’s nothing to lose here, right?

He doesn’t even live in town, so it’s not as if you’d be messing up the dynamics of a shared friend group if it turns out he’s not interested.

Just know if you reach out and explain your connection, you’re doing so without any real information about this man. You have not fallen for his personality “without meeting or talking to him.’’ All you’ve done is create a narrative about him based on photos and filters. Maybe he’ll live up to your expectations — or even exceed them. But . . . all you know right now is that you’re interested in learning more.

Please know you are also allowed to tell friends you want to reach out to this person. Someone might want to make the introduction on your behalf. Sometimes that’s what friends are for. – Meredith

READERS RESPOND

This is the weird modern equivalent to having a crush on some guy who works in your building or who you see on the train every day. Reach out to him but chill with your expectations. You sound like you’ve planned a life with an Instagram profile. SETTINGTHEWORLDONFIRE

Tell your friend you’d like to meet the guy. Have him set up a night where a bunch of people meet for drinks. You two get to chat with no pressure and see if your feelings persist.

FINNFANN

I mean, if you were really into this obsessive thing, the obvious answer would be to start an Instagram curated solely with the aim of attracting the attentions and affections of this guy, featuring his interests in a nonchalant oh-were-we-soulmates? I-hadn’t-noticed kinda way. ELLLEEM

You are an expert at keeping people at a distance. It works until you realize life is to be lived, not viewed. VALENTINO

Meredith Goldstein’s memoir, Can’t Help Myself, will be published April 3 by Grand Central/Hachette.