Q. I met a woman at a Halloween party. Never got her number but was able to track down an e-mail. We went out for drinks and I had a good time with her, and suggested we get together the next week for another date. I texted but didn’t hear anything back until a week later, and we made plans again. She said she was a bad texter.

This time we went bowling and it was a lot of fun. I texted again a few days later and didn’t hear back until about a week later. We were both out and she suggested I meet her at a party even though she had to get up early for a flight. She was headed to a work conference the next day, and would be gone for two weeks. When she left the party, I said we should go out again. She agreed but explained the two-week absence and busy schedule.

While she was away, I gave her a call to see if she wanted to make plans for when she got back, specifically taking her out to dinner. I haven’t heard anything since. Do I call again since it’s after the holidays and things may have died down? Or just let it go and take the silence as a signal? My friends are split on whether another call is worth a shot. Patience is not my strong suit.

Was I “ghosted’’? Are these the perils of modern dating?

Ghosted

A. If patience isn’t your strong suit, she’s not the woman for you. Even if she’s into you and taking her time. Even if she’s swamped with work and can’t manage a simple text. You require someone who is available and likes to communicate. She’s not that person.

For the record, I wouldn’t say you were ghosted. It sounds like you were phased out, which happens a lot after a date or two. Also, this has nothing to do with the perils of modern dating. People have been ditching each other before fourth dates since dating was invented.

There’s no need to make another phone call. Let go and spend your energy looking for someone you don’t have to chase.

Meredith

READERS RESPOND:

She knows you’re interested. You called her last. The ball is in her court and she hasn’t responded. You can go ahead and send her a message if you want, but you’ve seen her three times in three months and haven’t heard from her in almost two months. It sounds like she’s not interested.

JUST-ANOTHER-BOSTONIAN

Nope, don’t make another phone call. She told you she was a “bad texter’’ which is code for “I may ignore you.’’ WIZEN

I would not take a woman on a date bowling. Few women are impressed by a guy who bowls well. Not one of your more useful life skills. TWO-SHEDS

What Meredith said. Let her go. She’s not that into you. She may or may not be overwhelmed at work but if you want more consistent communication, this gal is not the one for you. Look elsewhere. Best of luck.

PATSFAN79

Call her. Leave a message. Tell her you were thinking about her and now that the holidays are over, you want to know if she wants to take you up on your offer to go out to dinner. Let her know that you don’t want to make her uncomfortable or waste either of your time, so if you don’t hear back, you’ll assume she’s not interested.

SEXUAL-CHOCOLATE

I don’t think she’s worth pursuing any further. But if you must, the first thing to do is ditch texting as your primary form of communication. Texting is for teenagers.

SLIM--SHADY

[What] is ghosting? DELLA-STREET

Going silent on someone — not responding to calls/e-mails/texts. It describes how some people stop dating others or end relationships. In a sentence: After a few dates, it was clear it was not going anywhere, so Joey ghosted. JUST-ANOTHER-BOSTONIAN

You may have been faded, I’m not sure about ghosted. She was responding to you for a while, and then stopped. RICH1273

Ghosts only appear when you allow them to. Block her out and move on.

BOODADDY

Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/loveletters. Send letters to meredith.goldstein@globe.com.