Q. I really need some relationship advice. I’m 20 and my boyfriend is 18. We have been dating since high school and are approaching 2½ years. Luckily, I am going to college in my hometown, where my boyfriend, “Bill,’’ is finishing up high school. Bill plays football and is for sure going to play at the college level. I am so excited for him and have been supportive, but I’m pretty much freaking out.

He could be going to the college where I am, or he could be going to a college that is five states away.

I love the school where I am and have no intention of switching, regardless of where he goes to play, but I don’t know what to do. I am lucky to see him maybe twice every two weeks because he is so busy, and for that reason, there has been a strain on our relationship. I feel like every long-term relationship goes through a point in time where they feel stuck and need a pick me up. What do I do?

I feel like sometimes I seem like a psycho about it, but I have kind of come to the conclusion that I need to back off and be secure in my relationship, because he constantly tells me that if we have made it this far, we don’t have anything to worry about. He says he loves me and that if he didn’t want to be with me, he wouldn’t.

I believe him when he says these things, but backing off and being secure in a relationship is easier said than done. I was in a very abusive four-year relationship prior to dating Bill, and this has made me have severe trust issues, even though Bill hasn’t done anything to break my trust.

I don’t want to freak him out by telling him that we need to talk about our future, but we really do. He is going through a really rough time right now with his family and school and trying to decide where he wants to play football, and the last thing I want to do is add stress onto the tons of stress he already has.

HELP!!!!

A. OK, four exclamation points. Please do not ask him to talk about the future. Mainly because there’s nothing to talk about until he figures out where he’s going to school. I know you’re stressed, but go deal with it at the gym, or binge-watch some television.

I find that people are better in relationships when they have a lot going on for themselves. They have more to talk about, they’re more confident, and they wind up putting less pressure on their partners. Instead of focusing on everything that could go wrong (or right) with Bill, go out of your way to make sure that your life is packed with other stuff. Every time you feel the need to call Bill and ask him whether he thinks you’ll get married, call a friend instead. Ask them how they’re doing. Listen to someone else for a while. Every time you find yourself mapping out the distance between your school and the one five hours away, spend time on a hobby. Read a book. Take a walk.

No one has the answers you want right now, not even Bill. If you want to preserve your relationship, stop asking questions.

Meredith

READERS RESPOND:

You are 20, have been with Bill for 2.5 years, and before that, were in another relationship for 4 years? So the last time you were single you were 13? I guess I’m not surprised you are feeling insecure, actually. Incidentally, that’s not designed to be a dig. I’m just wondering when you have taken time to figure yourself out without the external pressures of who a boyfriend wants you to be.

MABBITTY

This sounds like an episode of “Friday Night Lights.’’

BEENTHEREANDBACK

Listen to Meredith and others who have said to develop more interests in your own life. Stop being such a clinging vine. Therapy could help with this, but so could just picking up the phone and making some plans with friends.

NEBMATX

Stop worrying about Bill and go have fun in college. That’s all you need to know.

CORNYMCCORNCOB

Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/loveletters. Send letters to meredith.goldstein@ globe.com.