Q.I met this really awesome girl on Tinder last August. We had great chemistry and had a lot of things in common like our love of the outdoors (hiking, biking, etc.). Pretty soon we were spending every weekend outdoors, and we would spend at least one night at week at her place or mine. She told me about some of her exes – one asked her for money, another one was unwilling to commit, and she found out another had been abusive in previous relationships. She told me that so far, I was the best she’d ever met.

Things were going great for a month until September when she came over crying and said that her ex (the one who was not willing to commit) wanted to get back with her. She ended things with me. Two days later, I get a text from her saying that she was manipulated and wants to get back with me. We continued dating, though we were not going out as often as before. In the winter, she told me she had been dating someone else behind my back. That killed me. For a long time, I was not able to sleep or eat. She realized the extent to which I was hurt and even supported me through therapy. I kept pleading with her to give our relationship another chance, trying to explain to her that we have so much in common and it would be a shame to throw all that away. I explained to her that sooner or later all couples hit a lull, and that because we had the same interests, we’d be able to get through it. She acknowledged that, but told me that she had made up her mind. In the meantime, my friends kept telling me that they saw her profile on Bumble.

In March, we agreed to meet up for one of the outdoor activities we love. She told me more about what happened last year – that she had been dating someone on and off while she was on and off with me. She told me she doesn’t know what the future will bring, but that in another few months she will have an idea. I make efforts to ignore her and when she realizes that, she tells me she is really sad and sorry we are not talking. Should I wait to see how she feels in a few months or should I move on and start dating others?

A troubled soul

A. First, stick with the therapy. It’s a good thing.

Second, move on. I can’t think of one reason for you to keep her in your life.

This woman left you for an ex, dated someone else without telling you, and is now implying that you should wait around until she figures out if there’s anyone better. You say you have a lot in common, but you don’t have the same goals. A shared love of hiking is meaningless if she wants to climb with other guys.

You say that all couples experience lulls, but those lulls aren’t supposed to happen within the first few months of a relationship. You’re trying to save a relationship that was only great for about 30 days. She hasn’t earned any more of your time, so don’t give it to her.

Meredith

READERS RESPOND:

Meredith knocked it out of the park today. Move on.

ENJOYEVERYSANDWICH

No offense to Meredith, but it wasn’t all that hard. ASH

What is Bumble? BERIGHTTHERE

It’s like Tinder but with less married guys trying to cheat.

WESTENDLADY

Do you like being a doormat? Didn’t think so. You deserve better, and you’ll find better . . . just continue with therapy and don’t allow her to get under your skin.

BACKBAYBABE

Seriously, letter writer, you are a placeholder. She is not feeling it for you the way you are for her. Move on, and find someone that does.

GDCATCH

She is keeping you there because she is afraid of being alone and she knows that you will keep going back to her, no matter how many times she hurts you. I would cut off all communication and block her number and Facebook and anything else that connects you to her. She needs to realize that she can’t just walk all over someone like that and that it be OK. She wants you but only when it is convenient for her and that is not fair to you.

NODOUBT51282

Join a hiking club if you want to find people to hike with. (They won’t mess with your head and lie to you either.)

DANGLEPARTICIPLE

Love of those activities does not make her unique, letter writer. Surely you can find someone else who likes those things and doesn’t yank your chain like this.

MOVA

From what I’ve seen, every person that dates online loves outdoor activities. It makes you wonder where all these people have the time to create and update their profiles when they spend so much time on top of mountains.

RICH1273

Please stand up for yourself and stop letting her lead you on and stop pining for her. There are plenty of other hikers on the mountain, as the old saying goes. She is just sherpa-ing you into a future of heartbreak and mind games and nonsense. You can do better, you can climb higher, reach a different summit.

SOUTHIE777

“She told me that so far, I was the best she’d ever met.’’ The fact that she said, “so far’’ tells you all you need to know.

MISSLILY

Date her and date others. What’s the big deal? What are you, “In Love’’ with this gal after a couple of months of hiking? You sound desperate, which is never sexy.PODUBBNEY

Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/ loveletters. Send letters to meredith.goldstein@globe.com.