Q. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about five months now. We met through a mutual friend while I was still dating my ex, and we got together after the breakup. That friend — who still keeps in touch with my ex — recently had my boyfriend hang out with his group of friends, and my ex was there.

My boyfriend knows that this particular guy is my ex and he’s not a fan, but now he hangs out with the group of friends a lot even though my ex will be there. Is it wrong for me to get mad? I mean, I understand he can have his own friends and all, but I don’t feel comfortable that my boyfriend is hanging out with this ex and poking through my past. I haven’t told my boyfriend how I feel because I’m worried I’m making a big deal out of nothing.

Am I?Small World

A. It’s a little uncomfortable, but this can happen when you date friends of friends. You’re bound to run into some familiar faces. It’s a small world, after all.

It doesn’t sound like you have any issues with the mutual friend hanging out with your ex. If that’s the case, you should be able to deal with other people (your boyfriend) knowing him, too. You don’t mention feeling limited by the situation — like you can’t go out with your boyfriend without running into your ex. As long as you can develop your own community with him, you should be OK.

This might feel like a smaller deal if you can refrain from making assumptions about what your boyfriend hears when he’s out in a group with this ex. You say he’s “poking through’’ your past, but is that even close to what’s happening? Do you really think your boyfriend asks your ex about your previous relationship — or that he does anything more than nod and smile at the guy?

If you truly believe that your current boyfriend is using these outings to study your ex, that’s another issue. But it sounds like he’s in the room with the guy, sharing mutual companions, trying to be nice. You can feel weird about it, but don’t make it more important than it is. Meredith

READERS RESPOND:

Yes, it is wrong for you to get mad. This happens with mutual friends and groups of people. What’s in your past that you don’t want poked at? And why do you assume he is poking around? I wouldn’t get worked up about this unless you want to make something out of nothing and end up with neither of them.

HIKERSKIERGIRL

Unfortunately, it seems you have an acute case of It’s All About Me-itis. It may be from insecurity (I don’t know) but you need to not take yourself so seriously. First, you cannot prevent your boyfriend from having friends, and second, I think you are exaggerating the degree of interest, if any, in your past. Most people have more important things to think about. Most people have a past that’s less than 100 percent perfect.

JIVEDIVA

Why don’t you take your boyfriend at his word and stop winding yourself up about things that are entirely beyond your control? You are being extraordinarily silly about the situation. Especially as you apparently believe that “he can have his own friends.’’ He’s his own person, not some pawn in your personal life chessboard. Incidentally, has it ever occurred to you that your ex may have lots of other things to talk about besides your good self?

AULDYIN

How related are the breakup with your ex with you getting together with your new boyfriend? Are you worried these two may compare notes and realize that something was going on with both of them at the same time?

-RICH1273-

You made the choice to date two people who share a mutual friend.

GRETCHYNN

Maybe just ask your current boyfriend what he thinks about hanging out with your ex?

ASH

Your ex and your boyfriend are connected by a mutual friend. There’s nothing more to it than that.ADAM----

Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/loveletters. Send letters to meredith.goldstein@globe.com.