Q. I fear that I am one of those women whose standards are too high. I always thought that I was just independent and not interested in dating as much as my friends, but recently I met a man who seemed like a character some teenage girl made up for her young adult romance novel. He was handsome, a CEO of a company, former athlete, talented musician, and known to be generous and kind. I was completely infatuated for about 10 hours before I discovered he was married. Of course he was. I let it go.

The problem is that those 10 hours were the only time I truly was interested in someone in the past five years. I have turned down good men because I wasn’t really “feeling it,’’ no matter how hard I tried. When I look back at the very small number of men I truly liked, they were all like him: admirably successful, handsome, and talented with good character. That’s what it takes to get my heart stirring, and even in my mind it’s a bit too much; I’m not even that well put together. Is this a problem? Do I have be amazed by someone to be attracted to them? How can I get my heart to be less picky?

Suddenly Uncertain

A. The first thing to know is that your tastes will change over time. You might think you have a type, but your wish list for a partner is bound to evolve as you have more experiences, romantic and otherwise.

The second thing to know is that your definition of perfect-young-adult-novel guy isn’t universal. You said “CEO of a company, former athlete,’’ and I made a face – because that’s not my perfect guy. Talented musician works, but athlete? Not so much. All I was thinking when I read your description was: “But is he funny? What are his favorite TV shows?’’

My point is, what you describe as your ideal is what you like, and that’s OK. Not everyone would have thought the guy was handsome. Not everyone would have swooned. The next time you meet someone who gets you smitten, he might be single – and a great match. Sometimes great matches take a long time to find.Meredith

READERS RESPOND:

It sounds like you are interested in a resume and not in a person. Try getting to know people and letting interest and attraction build. If you can’t get interested in someone after getting to know them, then perhaps you are not one for settling down. Which is actually OK, you know. ELLLEEM

Once you meet the right guy, all this worrying about being a certain type and fitting your perfect mold won’t matter. Your standards might be high but that just means you have to look harder. USER1236656

Welcome to the dating world, starting in your late 20s. Most (seemingly all) of the good ones are taken/married. You’re left with . . . “who is left,’’ and some divorcees of people who weren’t good long-term matches. Finding a Prince Charming is like a needle in a haystack. My criteria have been lowered to: nonsmoker and has a heartbeat.

GDCATCH

Ten hours and ready to sell the farm? Seriously, grow up and stop acting like a teenage girl. CONNORMACLEOD

Agreed, the LW needs to grow up a little, but don’t knock her for wanting that teenage feeling. We all want that from time to time, don’t we? That’s why I watch summer blockbusters and “Stranger Things.’’ I’m not telling you about the rest. To be clear this doesn’t always involve actual touching or pursuit of teenagers. PINKDRINK

We need a young Carrie Fisher for the role of the letter writer in the movie. Pierce Brosnan as the married CEO, but we’re going to flesh out this subplot a lot more than the LW did in this letter. SLIM-DOES-BOSTON

If you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it. Better to enjoy single blessedness than force yourself to sustain a relationship with a man you’re not truly attracted to. MABBITTY

Nothing lowers your standards quicker than aging. TRUTHFUL-POSTER

Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/loveletters. Send letters to meredith.goldstein@globe.com.