Q. I’ve been dating this awesome guy for about seven months now. We’ve both met each other’s friends and families, we’ve done holidays together, and we spend every weekend and some weeknights together. He is a great boyfriend and we really get along. I am definitely in love with him. The only problem is he hasn’t said he loves me yet, and I just don’t want to be the first one to say it. This is his longest relationship, so maybe he’s just not sure what to do? I’m just not sure if he feels as deeply as I do, and I don’t know what to do from here. I can’t tell if this relationship is something to kill time until the summer or something he sees progressing. Help me, Meredith and readers.

Is This Love

A. With all the letters we get about declarations of love, I’m starting to think people should have to disclose their “I love you’’ habits at the start of a relationship. Like, eight dates in, people should just reveal what the phrase means to them. Are they the kind of person who says “I love you’’ whenever they’re smitten? Do they keep it to themselves until they’re ready to commit for life? Do they fear those three words and withhold them until they get an ultimatum? It would be nice to know.

Your situation is less about the “I love you,’’ and more about the future — whether your boyfriend is even thinking about where this relationship might go. Instead of being the first person to bring up a phrase that means too much and says too little, why don’t you ask him what you really need to know? “At seven months, I’m really into this and hoping this works. Are you?’’

I can’t tell you how many people write in (and talk to me) about waiting for “I love you.’’ As someone who has withheld the phrase in the past (sorry), I’ll tell you that there are other ways to say it. I can’t always get behind an “I love you,’’ but I can explain what I want.

Meredith

READERS RESPOND:

Have you thought about, oh, I don’t know... maybe ASKING HIM? MMNNEE

Do you get extra relationship points if you say it second? WIZEN

I think you’re equating “I love you’’ with “we’re in a committed relationship with a bright future.’’ They’re not necessarily one in the same. It would make more sense to talk about where the relationship is going at this point. SASSYSADIE

You’ve made it past the six-month mark, and you’re both still in the honeymoon phase, from the sounds of things. Don’t create a problem/issue, where there is none. If you REALLY want to discuss the L-word, then YOU say it first — and you can see where he is at. Simple! GDCATCH

If you feel it, then say it. But, I agree with Meredith — this does sound more like you worried about whether you and your BF are on the same page, and less about those three words. After seven months, it’s time to have a conversation about that. TWO-SHEDS

“I can’t tell if this relationship is something to kill time until the summer.’’ That is a problem. How does he typically spend his summers? MOVA

I’ve got one of those guys who has a hard time uttering those 3 big little words. but he shows it every day in a million different ways. I’ll take that over words any day.

BOSTONSWEETS21

If you are a 20-something woman, as I suspect you are, I think it’s time to end this assumption that the guy needs to say it first or you are some kind of desperate crazy woman. Just do it. ASH

If everything else is so awesome and wonderful, why focus on three words that are overused and often overrated. Actions speak louder than words, as the saying goes. Ask any divorced couple how many times they uttered the words “I love you’’ before it all went horribly wrong. XQQQME

I avoid this situation by telling women I love them about an hour after meeting them.

FINNFANN

Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/loveletters. Send letters to meredith.goldstein@globe.com.