PEEL SESSIONS

China’s Culture Ministry is cracking down on the nation’s recent boom in personal live-streaming, targeting all sorts of salacious online activities for censorship. While most of the offending streamers are, according to one report, “predominately attractive women showing their cleavage,’’ the regulations also prohibit users from “seductively eating bananas,’’ as if there were some other way.

CLONE WARS

First there were the Avril Lavigne Is Actually Dead and Is Played By an Actress rumors. Then there were the Louis Tomlinson’s Baby Is Fake rumors. Now there are the Beyoncé Is a Cloned Version of Beyoncé rumors — so it’s really just a matter of time before people figure out that Tilda Swinton Is Visting Us From the Future.

SINKING SHIP

In one of the most facepalmy PR faceplants in recent history, Los Angeles art-pop duo (and couple) YACHT announced the malicious leak of a private sex tape they had made, a tape which hours later they seemingly-bravely made available through their own website. It quckly became apparent that both the hack and the tape were an elaborate marketing hoax/art project meant to promote the band’s new album. Understandably, real-life victims of actual not-made-up revenge porn were not on proverbial board with the stunt, and Twitter proceeded to torpedo the duo before turning to resume its ongoing celebration of girthy dudes, super tall girls, and 14-year-old Disney starlet Skia Jackson slaying Azealia Banks.

NOTHING TO REPORT

A former Facebook news “curator’’ told Gizmodo that fellow curators routinely suppressed conservative news items from appearing on its list of trending topics, prompting the US Senate Commerce Committee to launch an inquiry, and forcing uncles across the country to pick up the slack.

MICHAEL ANDOR BRODEUR

Michael Andor Brodeur can be reached at michael.brodeur@globe.com.