Donald Trump is the manliest man, a man among men.

And just in case his wives, his towers, and his oft-repeated enthusiasm for war crimes didn’t tip you off, let’s be clear: His manhood is . . . worthy of the Trump brand. He guarantees “there’s no problem’’ in that department. OK?

Has the national political scene ever before been graced by such machismo? Sure, we’ve had tough guys running for president. And even a few who took preternatural pride in their naughty bits (All the way with LBJ!).

But none of them is a match for the Donald; no pretender to the presidency ever gloried in the man in the bathroom mirror more than he. Or had greater reason.

It’s as if the virility of all the manspreaders and mansplainers in the universe — of all the men who ever talked over women in meetings and got paid more to do it, of all the backwards-hatted fans who hurled racist taunts at basketball games, of all the pubescent schoolyard louts who dropped smaller kids for thrills — had been distilled into this one orange uber-man.

When you’re this testosteronic, it doesn’t matter whether your pronouncements are utterly contentless, as long as you’re firm. Reversing your position on abortion or immigrant guest workers isn’t flip-flopping. No, when a manly man like you changes your mind, it’s being flexible — but never flaccid.

Which Trump takes the oath of office? Who cares? The world will love, honor, and obey, for he is that much man. Generals and House speakers will bend to his will. And truth will be what he says it is. Even if it was different yesterday.

How could a lesser man compete? Sure, his opponents talked tough at the GOP debate Thursday night, all but suggesting a President Trump would trigger the apocalypse. But in the end, they said they’d vote for him. They, too, are powerless before this apotheosis of manhood.

And what about a woman? She’s an even lesser man, of course, but if she’s the Democratic nominee, Hillary Clinton will have to adapt. The fall debates are sure to be brutal affairs.

So, never mind studying up on geopolitics or insurance mandates. Substance is for girls. Man up, lady! When Trump attacks her, she should respond as he would, unleashing her inner XY.

For example, if Clinton gets heat for having initially supported the Iraq war, she should simply do as Trump does, once she’s done shouting him down: Deny it ever happened. No, no, she can claim, she said Afghanistan. Sure, they’ll roll the tape that shows otherwise, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that she’s decisive now. Only her truthmatters. Like his.

And when her use of a private e-mail server as secretary of state is raised? Well, she can simply do as Trump has done with his blithe talk of torturing suspected terrorists and massacring their children: rail about how she wanted her own server because she’s a strong leader, and how the world needs more like her. Federal records law, like the Geneva convention, is for losers.

OK, so what about those obscenely lucrative speeches she gave to the Wall Street types on whom she’s now vowing to crack down? She did it for business! Just like the donations Trump gave to her and to other Democrats. His motives were pure: He was just buying influence and looking to make more money. Well, Clinton wanted to get richer, too. No endorsement of fat cats implied. Perfectly innocent. Case closed.

While she’s at it, she really should play up the money thing. It works so well for Trump. Next to his strapping manhood, it’s the core of his appeal. He’s rich, so he’s a great leader. He’s rich, so he’s more honest. Clinton is rich. So that means she’d make a great president, too, yes?

Now, maybe none of that sticks. Perhaps the qualities voters adore in Trump won’t be so appealing in a woman. That would be quite the double standard, but I suppose it’s possible.

If that happens, it’s time to go nuclear. Hillary could step out from behind the podium and spread her hands wide. You know what they say about big hands.

“I guarantee you there’s no problem,’’ she can say, with a wink.

That will totally work for her, right?

Globe columnist Yvonne Abraham can be reached at yvonne.abraham@globe.com.