‘It’s hard to be healthy [with] what you eat in this country because you have everything. You have 149 different kinds of everything. This is the country that invented spray cheese. You know, somebody was eating cheese and they said, “I like this. I like it. I like it a lot. But I want it in a mist.’’ ’

— Dylan Moran, who performs at the Wilbur Theatre Friday

Nick A. Zaino III can be reached at nick@nickzaino.com.